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Chrissy Teigen is one of the million women who suffer from miscarriage every year and yet, why is there stigma around talking about it?
Recently, supermodel and TV personality Chrissy Teigen shared a hear-wrenching post about her miscarriage. As always, people took to social media to call her names and pass judgements about the right way to grieve. But it isn’t social media that I want to write about today, it is the stigma associated with pregnancy loss.
Incidentally, October is also pregnancy and infant loss month. This just makes it all the more important to raise awareness about this devastating event. One that affects almost ten million women in India every year!
Every religion has elaborate customs associated with death, a period of mourning. But when it comes to the loss of pregnancy or infant birth loss, all that remains is awkward silences, stigma, and shame.
Loss of pregnancy is often associated with extreme physical pain and almost always with intense emotional pain. This is enough to permeate every fibre of your being. Yet, no one wants to talk about it. It makes people uncomfortable.
Every person has their own way of grieving. While some want to grieve in solitude and may never want to talk about it. Others may be able to talk only when they have a semblance of acceptance. It is also perfectly okay to share grief in its raw, crude form without mixing it up with melancholy or wisdom, just as Chrissy did.
I wish no one goes through this trauma, but if you know someone who did, reach out. Ask them if they are okay and would they like to talk about their loss.
Be empathetic, it is fine if you do not understand the pain, it is perfectly okay to not offer any solutions. Just listen. Because listening is what most parents are devoid of while they try to tackle their pain. And in many cases, the wounds remain raw for an entire lifetime.
Ending this with a little poem I wrote a while back –
Two faint lines on a test strip & my life changed
Ultrasound reverberated with the sound of two heart beast, my own skipped a beat
Panic, anxiety, joy, hope
Excessive movements & I wondered is this sibling rivalry or sibling revelry going on
Twins!!
Double trouble, they said
Double the love, I thought
Fate can be twisted though
My babies spared me from all the trouble
I just wish I could have held them that fateful day
Had not let my own pain and agony overpower me
For even though my babies were stillborn, they were still born.
Picture credits: Chrissy Teigen’s Instagram page
Dentist, writer, corporate healthcare professional. In my earlier avatar, I taught budding dentists and published a book on my subject expertise. A ‘sabbatical’ from work to take care of my super-energetic baby girl reignited read more...
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Vidhya came home with Riya. She was surprised to see the same expectations from her that were before from having a child. Nothing had changed, and she felt that nothing would ever change.
Vidhya was just like any other normal girl who grew up reading Cinderella and Rapunzel, wishing to meet her Prince charming someday. Though not a topper, she scored well in school and college and fulfilled her parent’s dream by joining as HR in a reputed financial firm.
After she settled in her career path, her parents began their hunt to find the perfect groom and complete their responsibility in life. Finally, after seeking permission from the stars in her chart, they fixed her wedding with Rahul, who according to them, got a tick for most of their eligibility criteria. She obliged and got married to him as per their wish.
But what if you could highlight the pleasure of eating a mango? Mango-eating has always been the stuff slurpy, sloppy moments are made of.
Someone once said, ‘A little coitus never hoitus.’ Or, as a passage from an ancient Indian text says, ‘The horse and mare, the bull and deer, form the high union, while the horse and deer form the highest union. On the female side, the elephant and bull, the mare and hare, form low unions, while…’
Apparently, the animals represent people who are trying to have a union, that is, sex. This passage shows how the ancient Indians knew a thing or two about the birds and the bees and the hares and the mares. We had passion or kaam. And we had the Kama Sutra.
Here is why I think why the Motherhood Challenge should not hurt anyone, why we should take it in our stride.
Here is why I think why we should not be hurt by the Motherhood Challenge, why we should take it in our stride.
Last week I read a post by Ms. Kasturi Patra about how the ‘Motherhood Challenge’ chain of posting a picture with your child may hurt somebody who is not a mother by choice or one who wants to be a mother but can’t. I am thankful to Ms. Patra for speaking out about this as the same thought of hurting people came to many of us when we first saw the challenge.
The article emphasizes the need to be careful and empathetic while posting in social media. I agree with her. But I would like to put forward my views as one of those who joined in the chain and posted a pic. I should clarify that this is not a reply to the article but just a response from one who participated in the chain without the intention of hurting anybody.
As Women's Web celebrates ten years of incredible content, here are the top ten posts of Women's Health in the last ten years! #ADecadeOfWomensWeb
As Women’s Web celebrates ten years of incredible content, here are the top ten posts of Women’s Health in the last ten years! #ADecadeOfWomensWeb
I come from a family of doctors and to me, visiting doctors, for any reason is often like visiting family. But while looking for posts on Women’s Health for this article, I realised how easy I’ve had it! And also how vast an issue Women’s Health is.
So while choosing these ten posts, I really had a tough time. I wanted to cover every possible issue and also every possible sweet story. In a decade of Women’s Web, we have had health related posts on absolutely everything.