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For all those women who don't want to change the age old traditions let them practice it. But don't push someone else to follow your belief.
Months ago we went for a rice ceremony function. In a Bengali household, rice ceremony is as important as marriage ceremony. Before proceeding with the story I would like to inform our reader about an age old custom in Bengali rice ceremony and weddings. During rice ceremony when the child (irrespective of gender) is going to have his/her first meal of rice, dal curry curds either from his/her maternal uncle or from grand father, the mother of the child is forbidden to attend the ceremony. Similarly, during the wedding ceremony of the male child, a mother is forbidden to attend the ceremony. There are many age old stories that doesn’t make any sense to me. I just think how cruel this society can be. Only mothers are forbidden. I also have a son and I was also forbidden to see the rice ceremony of my own child. Although my husband supports me but my argument seemed unnecessary to my in-laws. At last I gave up as my mother was brutally taunted by my in-laws for my bad upbringing.
Now come to our story. Nina and her husband live in Bangalore and come down to Kolkata for her only daughter’s rice ceremony. The function was arranged in a hall quite far away from her in laws house. Nina’s husband arrived with their daughter shortly after we reached the venue. I asked him “Where is Nina?” and he just nods his head. But I can sense something was wrong. After sometime I got a call from Nina and asked me to visit her. While in the car so many questions were revolving in my head. I knocked and Nina opened the door. Her face was dull and she didn’t look ready for the function. I asked her, ‘Are you not well?’ She simply replied “Not feeling up to attend the party.’
I asked her the reason then she explained. She insisted with her in-laws to let her attend the main ceremony but they simply asked her to leave. So she decided not to attend the party either. Let her in-laws be answerable to the questions about her conspicuous absence. It is indeed a strong step to break an age old tradition. I wish I could do the same. I wish I could be as brave as her. For all those women who don’t want to change the age old traditions let them practice it. But don’t push someone else to follow your belief. But I don’t know when these things are going to stop and a woman can live her life on her on terms. When will society stop dictating in our lives? Should we wait our society to change or fight for our rights?
I am a ordinary woman studied in a all girls school. Love to cook, eat, sing, dance, write, travel,drive, sleep, dream. Busy raising my son so left my job in a leading MNC and read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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