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Why are we girls the the keepers of family honour? For us Valentine's Day becomes a time of intense scrutiny and suspicion from families.
Why are we girls the the keepers of family honour? For us Valentine’s Day becomes a time of intense scrutiny and suspicion from families.
7/2/2020
Dear Diary,
My father suspects that I am “having an affair” because I popped my pimples due to “thinking about my boyfriend”, and the fresh scars are visible on my face.
I mean, WHO on earth says this?! My WhatsApp stays quiet except for messages on “Family Forever” from father himself, and my paternal aunt and uncle passing on news and jokes. My Instagram only has memes on my favourite TV show, leave alone “Hi dear” DMs from random boys.
Not in a mood to talk. Adios!
8/2/2020
The cuticles around my nails are so dry that they were bleeding. Father came home from office when I was trying to understand Standard Score Norms. He asked for ginger tea, and I felt some “weird” vibes from him. I got the maid instead to make the tea, and I served it to him.
“Kya soch rahi ho aaj kal?” (What are you thinking about these days?), he asked. I instantly knew that he saw my hands, and I regretted serving him tea. I replied, “Nothing. Actually, the skin around my nails was getting dry. I forgot to apply hand cream because I was studying.”
9/2/2020
I was supposed to complete the course of Psychological Testing today, but I am just unable to do that. My heart has been thumping, and my stomach has been grumbling with fear of That Dreaded Anti-Love Marriage Speech, which I thought I would receive any time today. Especially because I overheard father commenting to his brother-in-law, about the marriage of my dear cousin and her husband, who treats me so good as if I am his own little sister.
As per a survey conducted back in 2009 and reported by The Telegraph, men gossip more than women.
10/2/2020
Despite of four cups of berry-flavoured coffee, Maggi and taking a day off from studies, I still feel so scared! I just want the floor under my feet to burst open and swallow me inside like it did with Lady Sita.
11/2/2020
I very well remember reading that journaling is helpful. Helpful for manifestation of the heart’s desires, helpful to raise your vibes….
Sadly, I do not feel like talking to you. Please forgive me for not writing down the juicy gossip and news, those fantasies and ambitions I might have even now. Father’s suspicious glances and hostile body language have shook even the marrow of my bones. My WhatsApp and Instagram is as usual quiet, not even whispering anything to me.
12/2/2020
I AM OFFICIALLY NOT OKAY!
Dear diary, I wish you were a psychiatrist who could save me from being treated like a traitor by my own blood. SAVE ME, PLEASE!
13/2/2020
Why are we girls the izzat ke rakhwale of our families, the keepers of family honour? Who has given us this illogical label? What happens to the universal fact of each person being responsible for his or her actions and thoughts, when it comes to India? PLEASE TELL ME!
Is being in a relationship or having a crush on someone a heinous crime, that a father of three daughters would constantly suspect a young single girl of having a boyfriend? And the suspect goes to such an extent that even the movement of the poor girl’s eyeballs are analyzed!
As happy as I feel for lovers spending time with each other on Valentine’s Day, more than that, I hate this day because it lowers my value in front of my parents for no reason! It arouses in me unnecessary guilt for “betraying my parents”, when all I do is just sincerely study at home. Heck, I even had to cancel a meeting with my cousin sister (who is liked by both of my parents) only because I do not want to hear a “Tu pakka apne behen ke saath hi jaa rahi hai?” (Are you really going with your sister?)
Never have I felt THIS anxious, despite being innocent. I just want the 14th to pass so that I can at least take a breath of freedom from scrutiny and hostility.
Image is from the Hindi movie Saawariya
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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