Household Chores, And 4 Other Things I’d Love To Follow The Odd-Even Pattern, Not Just Delhi Cars

What if some of the annoying things in women’s lives were permitted only on an Odd-Even scheme? A fun post that is very relevant.

Delhi pollution was blamed on many things, mainly the burning of stubble, causing severe distress to the population. Odd-Even pattern of vehicles on road was a solution run by the government.

The efficacy of the Odd-Even scheme might be debatable, but as women who have to make adjustments according to what patriarchy dictates in society, what are the other things we’d love to see happen under an Odd-Even scheme?

Read on about the fabulous ideas I had while driving to my office in my Even car.

Periods

This should not be the first thing to be listed here, but I just hate it, despite the fact that it is as normal as the environment. I wish it could be split amongst men and women during even and odd months. Men anyway PMS (hormonal rages?) without having periods. It will be easier for women to deal with it when they know about their ‘that time of the month’ precisely.

What about pregnancies, you say? Since a man’s strength is only limited to the ‘push-ups’ in the gym, they won’t be able to push out a 7-pound baby. So, let the pregnancy remain with women only.

Men in our lives

This does not mean that I am not fond of my husband. He is just…. “Patrick” of the Patriarchy. It’s about a handful of men around me who set the rules and expect me to abide by them. To satisfy their egos, I give them an entire year.

In an odd year, they will set rules, and in an even year, I will be the invoke the powers of matriarchy. All they have to remember is ‘with great power comes a great electricity bill, but with women comes great power’! Imagine ‘power’ given to ‘great power’.

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Mother In Law and her Tantrums

I love her but not with her tantrums. I will take them all on an even day if she agrees to take them all from me on an odd one. Trust me, the outburst of all the ‘bahus’ in the town will become the breaking news.

Eve-Teasing

Now, this cannot exist legally, but it’s part of a woman’s everyday life in a Metro City.

If men practically experience what women feel every odd day, I am sure before air (refer the pollution issues above), the environment gets safer and better for women with Odd-Even. I would of course love to exercise my right, scanning their bodies, passing comments, winking, and whistling, saying “oh ho kya baat hai” on an even day.

Household chores

I love my family and my house, but I hate to manage it alone. My husband has equal ownership of the family since the children were produced out of wedlock and were not a part of my trousseau.

So the wife manages the house on odd days and husbands on even days. Gender equality established with just the Odd-Even rule!

I could only think about the above while I drove to the office.  Do let me know in the comments section if you have any other on your mind.

Just the Odd cars allowed me a better space on roads, and I reached the office on time. I entered the office only to hear the sad stories of those who struggled to find a cab, had to pool in with their not so ‘friendly’ colleague, or arrived late due to the Odd-Even.

Somehow, I was happy. Happy about Odd-Even and my imaginary implementation of it beyond my Even Car!

A version of this was first published here.

Image source: a still from the movie Piku

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