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Akshay Kumar seems to have won parents’ heart with his parenting tip on son Aarav’s birthday. Are you on your child’s speed dial? Or are they afraid of you?
Our very own reel life ‘Khiladi’ aka Akshay Kumar seems to be well-playing the role of a father in real life.
The macho actor tweeted a birthday wish for his son Aarav and expressed his contentment as a father knowing that he is on “speed-dial” on Aarav’s phone. He further went to say that he will be always beside his son to guide him.
This pushed me to ask a very important question to myself as a parent, ‘Is my child afraid of me? Or does she have the ease of reaching out to me when she is in a mess?’
I analysed a few past incidents and the answer is ‘Yes.’
Yes, she is. I am glad that it has always been easy for my daughter to talk to me or my husband with ease. She is in her teens, just like Aarav and over the years we have developed a comfort where she can share anything with us. Be it boys, her friends, grades, failures, emotions or anything that the child goes through at that age.
This one time, I went to pick her from her extra-curricular class and she was on a call with her friend. She and her friend were discussing a boy and his attraction towards a classmate. While I feel they are still too young to talk about these things, there are things beyond parental control. As a parent, at such times, you have no choice but to accept the world your child is exposed to.
Her friend on the other line realised that she was with me and asked my daughter, “How can you talk all of this in front of your mom.”
My daughter replied, “She’s cool, you may continue.” Her friend was apparently worried that I might share it all with her mother and hung up. I understood it, even though she wasn’t doing anything wrong, she was scared of her mother. She didn’t want her mother knowing that she is friends with boys or that she talks about infatuations.
We moved to our new house six months ago. A fellow mother, from my daughter’s previous school called us up and said, “Everyone misses your daughter. She was the only one who was friends with boys.”
I don’t mean to generalise anything but I have come across many mothers who do not approve friendships of their daughters with boys and vice-versa. At the same time, I have also come across several children who are scared of sharing their ordeals, failures and emotions with their parents. Some of these children also lie to their parents to avoid being scolded.
If you catch your child lying to you, it is a strong sign that the child is scared of you. You need to work on your parenting skills and analyse why the child lied to you in the first place. The child may have done it for several reasons but it is very important to analyse the ‘Why?’
As a child, I lied to my parents just because I was not sure how my parents would react if I told the truth. I lied to them when I did not score well in my exams, to an extent that I have forged their signatures on my report cards when I was in middle school.
My parents never approved me going for movies with friends, so I bunked classes in college to watch my favourite movies in cinemas. What if there was a mishap at the theatre? Could I ever call my parents in such a mess? The answer is no.
As a teenage girl, I survived a few molestation episodes in crowded places but I never had the courage to share the ordeal with my parents. I was never sure whether they will understand or if I’d be held responsible for inviting it since I chose to go out with my friends and not them.
I was never truthful about the number of male friends who joined us on any birthday parties. There always was a female friend who’d come to pick me as an assurance to my parents before we went anywhere.
At times, she was not even invited to the event and went back home as soon as we were out. What if I had fallen in an unwanted mess then? Could I inform my parents?
A child should be able to talk anything and everything to his/her parents with ease and without giving a second thought. This is the most important parenting tip I learned as a child. Developing such comfort, only depends on parents.
I ensured to develop comfort between me and my child the day I became a mother. Even when my child was a baby I ensured to give her “freedom of choice.” I never tamped her mouth with baby food she did not like. Though I tried to keep her diet healthy, she could choose to eat what she liked.
Even now, she is absolutely free to choose her friends, attire, subjects, career and even a man she wants to marry when she grows up. I have always respected her choices and will always do. She may not want to share it all with me, I am sure I will be the first person she will reach out to if she is in a mess. Just as sure as I am that I will never judge or accuse her.
It is not that she never lied to me. She did, but as a parent I analysed it and corrected myself. No one is perfect and no one is born a parent. We learn gradually and keep learning until we are alive.
There are no set guidelines to be a good parent but if you have developed a comfort with your child and your child dials you first instead of thinking “Oh No, Dad’s going to kill me”, you have nailed it.
For those who want to check the tweet, here it is
Wishing Aarav a happy life ahead! Thank you, Akshay for giving us food for thought which lead to a deep introspection for a parent!
Picture credits: Akshay Kumar’s social media
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Vandana is a freelance HR Professional, Content Writer, Soft Skills Trainer, and a Blogger. Her
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