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Turning 40 has always been considered as growing ‘old’. However, here are 10 lessons from a 40-year old to her 30-year old self that are relevant to quite a number of us out there!
I recently turned 40, and as they say “40 is the new beginning”, I strongly believe it now. By 40 I learnt the art of living if not perfectly but nearly perfectly. It’s the start of new phase of my life where I find myself more calm, peaceful, more stable and indeed a little more mature.
However, I still wonder, what made me so worried and hassled 10 years ago in my 30s. No doubt I had a lot to cope up with: my child, work, family, parents and household, all of this, at the same time.
I still have the same old responsibilities but my child has turned 13 and parents are even older. The pressure to deliver and perform at work has increased and the responsibilities are growing each passing day. Yet I feel more relaxed at 40.
However, now I realise that I could have made it easy for myself to sail through the 30s, had I followed a few simple tips. Tips that I could advise my 30 year old self today and could have avoided such hustle-bustle and loved life a lot more than what I did.
At 30 your energy is channelized in the best way since you have a lot to do, rather you are happy to take up any new responsibilities that come across. However, you must maintain a balance so that each and everything: be it work or family gets equal attention of yours and you do not carry guilt of ignoring anything. Mind you, you cannot be perfect at everything and it’s ok to fail, if and when required.
Try not to depend on your husband or any other male member in the family for anything that you can do yourself. If you think you can’t, just give it a try or learn to do it yourself so that you have minimum dependency on others. Learn driving if you already don’t know it. Trust yourself and your capabilities. It is ok not to earn but you need to be independent.
This remains very important for us during our school days. However, as we grow up, gradually we forget that the clock is a really important tool to manage our lives. Fix a time table for yourself and stick to it in all circumstances. Give up that extra 5 minutes of sleep and never hit the snooze button. You will be more at ease at the end of the day.
Every woman definitely has a “to-do” list for the day whether she’s a working woman or a housewife. You are a normal human being- stop trying to be a super woman at all times.
It is absolutely fine you are unable to complete all the tasks on this list in one single day. Push it to next day.
Trust me the heavens won’t fall. However, you must prioritise in accordance to your deadlines.
Your health is very important for you and for those associated to you and sooner you realise this the healthier you are. A healthier you is a happier you. You are too busy to even catch a seasonal cold. So indulge in healthy eating, keep your weight in check and follow some routine exercise that suits you for at least 30 minutes every day.
If nothing is possible, walk for 35 minutes at least 4 days a week and you are sorted. Do not compromise on at least 6-8 hours of sleep. Go for an annual health check positively so that you know you are healthy at all parameters.
This is very important yet the most difficult thing for a woman. Be it at work or at home, you are constantly making efforts to please everyone. This is not possible.
No matter how hard you try you won’t be able to impress everyone on this earth. Even if you accept everything at the cost of your time, effort and happiness, you cannot prove yourself to the world.
So it is better that you say a polite yet clear “No” when you feel like you can’t take it or do it. It is always better to be clear than to carry grudge at a later stage.
You don’t have to adjust to every situation in life just because you are taught to do so.
Make adjustments whenever required but only when you know you can maintain it for life. It is very difficult for others to accept you not bending to a situation if you have already done it for some years.
It is not advisable to set such benchmarks for yourself.
Regardless whether you earn or not, try to save as much money as you can. Resist that temptation of buying a high priced dress or jewellery just to be used for a single wedding function in the family.
Research a little on discounts and compare prevailing market prices or EMI options before you buy any expensive item for your household. Invest your saved money in fixed deposits or any other way so that you have your own financial independence in a few years.
No matter how many roles you play in one single life of a woman it is very important that you don’t lose your own identity.
You are supposed to be who you are and nothing should influence you to change your own self. Let the world accept you with all your flaws. You may correct yourself at certain stages but just “be yourself”.
As soon as you turn 30 ageing further scares you. Love yourself regardless of your shape, colour and wrinkles which recently have appeared under your eyes. You are beautiful, at all ages. You don’t have to wear shorter dresses to look younger.
Be positive and give up all those anti-aging products which made you feel even older. Do take care of yourself and pamper yourself but don’t overdo it in an urge to look younger.
It took 10 years for me to learn simple lessons of life.
I was young, inexperienced and to an extent rigid to mould myself but you may start using few of these if not all to make your life simpler at in your 30s.
First published here.
Image credits Unsplash
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