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Women who are repeatedly harassed by men start thinking that maybe something is wrong with them. To those women, I say: it is not your fault!
Dear young women,
It is not your fault if a creepy old man from your Facebook list starts pinging you after seeing your pics with your friends (male or female). He is the creep, not you. Remove him and warn those who know him. Even if it is a relative.
It’s not your fault if the ‘driver on-call’ you hired starts chatting excessively on your car rides because he saw your pics on facebook and thinks you are a “certain” kind of girl. Just change the driver and move on.
It is not your fault if a former colleague, now married with a kid, sees your picture with another male colleague and thinks you are ‘easy game’ and asks you out to dinner. Ask him, “will your wife be joining us”? It’s that person’s own dirty brain for thinking something shady is going on with you and the guy whose picture is up on Facebook. Remove him from your FB friends’ list, and tell your friends about it.
It’s not your fault if some old creepy married boss asked you to wear a short skirt during your internship at an ad agency. Be aware and report him. It’s a good thing that millennials are so much more aware these days and the creep would soon find himself in a POSH committee hearing.
It’s not your fault if a creepy old married dude reads between the lines (of your copy, imagining it is for him!) every time you submit your copy for approval at your workplace.
It is not your fault if a former school mate (male) sends you a perverted joke full of sexual innuendos. Block him and move on. Tell your friends about it, so that they don’t fall prey.
If it’s not your fault, then why is it happening? The same man who acts a certain way toward his wife at home is out in the workplace looking for ‘fresh meat’ to pass his time.
Who is going to tell that man that no one is interested in his creepy overtures and he is going to face sexual harassment charges soon if he carries on that way? It will have to be you! What if that man is your boss or supervisor? How would you handle it?
Image source: shutterstock
Aishwariya Laxmi is a writer, editor, blogger, and poet living in suburban Chennai, India. She blogs on https://aishwariyalaxmi.com/ and has a newsletter at https://ash.fambase.com/. Her poems and flash fiction have read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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