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Hilarious one-line descriptions of some really popular Bollywood hits, that get right at the bottom of the problematic part of it, by a woman who identifies as feminist.
“What is the movie about?” we ask our friends when we want to know about a movie. Usually, this leads to a long, scene by scene description of the story. But what if you were told to describe a movie in just a line or two.
Our guest author, a woman who describes herself as a feminist, does just that, coming up with all these one-liners in the space of a few mins on a discussion on Facebook about Bollywood.
Bollywood movies are problematic –let’s face it. Even some of our favourites, intentionally or unintentionally send the weirdest, most “what the hell!” kind of messages. Maybe you’ve noticed it, maybe you haven’t. Here are some of the funniest.
Dying people can’t love as it’s selfish.
Poor people can’t love because sanskar.
1956 production accidentally released 50 years later.
“I didn’t rape you, I was just joking. See, I am a nice guy” is the dream of every girl.
Because no one recognizes HDDCS. Also: ek chutki sindoor ke saamne, what is love Sameer Babu. Forced, unconsummated marriage over egotistical love, anyday.
A brave yet futile effort to spread the news that it’s called Chennai and not Madras.
Because a girl’s rape is a necessary plot device for the hero’s reformation.
Mindfuck father-in-law to commit suicide because girl wants to support dad and not marry.
Thriller mis-categorized as romance.
Bollywood shouting, “Ye story humko dede Thakur!”
Justifying helicopter parenting one medal at a time.
Sleeps with him. WOKAY! Sleeps with others. WHORE.
Five love stories. Because name of the movie is not Mohabbat. They did warn us, we didn’t listen.
The movie is all about the girl, Rani, but hey who the heck will watch a movie with a female name?
Let’s have Sunny Deol mansplain so much in the climax that people forget it’s a movie about a woman and has a woman’s name in the title.
Hey, let me play with her by pretending not be the poet she loves, then send my brother to her as the poet she loves, because hey, she will choose me in the end anyway, so what if I play with her and his feelings?
Abe Ooye, uski taraf se hamesha na hi tha. (Eyeroll)
Desh me sanskar, videsh me sanskar. Sanskar hi sanskar, samundar paar.
What do you think of these one-liners? Any others that you can think of?
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