Read our prestigious winners at the 10th Laadli Media Awards, on India’s Low Divorce Rate and The Sexual Violence of Flashing.

Fabulously Funny One Line Descriptions of Bollywood’s Greatest (Problematic) Hits

Posted: November 9, 2019
Tags:

“Eclectic, interesting…will fill you with hope and resolve!” – Pick up our new short story collection, Women.Mutiny

Hilarious one-line descriptions of some really popular Bollywood hits, that get right at the bottom of the problematic part of it, by a woman who identifies as feminist.

“What is the movie about?” we ask our friends when we want to know about a movie. Usually, this leads to a long, scene by scene description of the story. But what if you were told to describe a movie in just a line or two.

Our guest author, a woman who describes herself as a feminist, does just that, coming up with all these one-liners in the space of a few mins on a discussion on Facebook about Bollywood.

Bollywood movies are problematic –let’s face it. Even some of our favourites, intentionally or unintentionally send the weirdest, most “what the hell!” kind of messages. Maybe you’ve noticed it, maybe you haven’t. Here are some of the funniest.

Kal Ho Na Ho

Dying people can’t love as it’s selfish.

Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham

Poor people can’t love because sanskar.

Vivah

1956 production accidentally released 50 years later.

Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jaayenge aka DDLJ

“I didn’t rape you, I was just joking. See, I am a nice guy” is the dream of every girl.

Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam

Because no one recognizes HDDCS. Also: ek chutki sindoor ke saamne, what is love Sameer Babu. Forced, unconsummated marriage over egotistical love, anyday.

Chennai Express

A brave yet futile effort to spread the news that it’s called Chennai and not Madras.

Simmba

Because a girl’s rape is a necessary plot device for the hero’s reformation.

Dabaang

Mindfuck father-in-law to commit suicide because girl wants to support dad and not marry.

Kabir Singh

Thriller mis-categorized as romance.

Article 15

#NotAllBrahmins

Dhadak

Bollywood shouting, “Ye story humko dede Thakur!”

Dangal

Justifying helicopter parenting one medal at a time.

Parineeta

Sleeps with him. WOKAY! Sleeps with others. WHORE.

Mohabbatein

Five love stories. Because name of the movie is not Mohabbat. They did warn us, we didn’t listen.

Raja

The movie is all about the girl, Rani, but hey who the heck will watch a movie with a female name?

Damini

Let’s have Sunny Deol mansplain so much in the climax that people forget it’s a movie about a woman and has a woman’s name in the title.

Saajan

Hey, let me play with her by pretending not be the poet she loves, then send my brother to her as the poet she loves, because hey, she will choose me in the end anyway, so what if I play with her and his feelings?

Kabhi Haan Kabhi Na

Abe Ooye, uski taraf se hamesha na hi tha. (Eyeroll)

Pardes

Desh me sanskar, videsh me sanskar. Sanskar hi sanskar, samundar paar.

What do you think of these one-liners? Any others that you can think of?

Liked this post?

Register at Women's Web to get our weekly mailer and never miss out on our events, contests & best reads! Or - get a couple of really cool reads on your phone every day - click here to join our Telegram channel.

Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views. Individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times. If you have a complementary or differing point of view, sign up and start sharing your views too!

The author is a woman who identifies as a feminist.

Being The 'Woman Boss' - With Apurva Purohit

Comments

Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!

Do you want to be part of a network curated for working women?

""