The Addiction Called The Daily Newspaper

Having no newspaper to read would do so much damage to my personality.

Today all hell broke loose, the newspapers didn’t arrive due to heavy rains. A companion in my procrastination, sigh. What on earth am I supposed to do for those two hours, which were devoted to reading them for many decades?

It would be weird if I change the routine of my lifetime by talking to hubs or working out in that time.

And please tell me, how do I get my daily fix of ministers putting their foot in their big mouth. Frankly they are best read rather than heard, except maybe Narendra Modi and Shashi Tharoor. It’s a pleasure to hear Modi and Tharoor speak in their shuddh Hindi and impeccable English respectively. How else would I increase my vocabulary without knowing words like mitron, notebandi and floccinaucinihilipilification from them?

Oh these news channels and news apps are no alternative for the papers, they are my go-to after I’m done with my papers. The anchors ruin it by being loud and opinionated. So I prefer to read, even though the lines are blurring between newspaper, television and digital. The content registers and stays in my mind when I read it on paper.

How do I go about my day without knowing my daily astrological predictions? Good Lord, what if my actions change my destiny. Of course, the power of crosswords, sudokus and scramble should not be underestimated. They have kept my brain free from Alzheimer’s.

And I have to know if Gaurav Dahiya has another wife tucked in somewhere. How will I know what this world is coming to? To google the likes of him I have to first know of their existence, and that’s where my papers come in handy.

Keeping aside my total disinterest in cricket, at least I can knowledgeably talk about the undercurrents between Virat Kohli and Rohit Sharma.

What if I missed out on seeing a friend’s pic attending some social event. [Did I hear grapes are sour?] That would be a catastrophe, having no fodder for my gossip sessions.

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Having no newspaper to read would do so much damage to my personality. Please delivery boy, you have been very diligent in your job, but don’t let the rains deter you. I will forward you some Ted talks to motivate you further. Thank you for bringing the sunshine into my life.

Image via StockFreeImages


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