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It's never easy being a single parent especially in India. But single parenting does teach you a number of things. Here's 10 things a single mother learnt!
It’s never easy being a single parent especially in India. But single parenting does teach you a number of things. Here are ten things a single mother learnt!
I never thought I’d be a single mother raising my eleven year old daughter all alone. My parents had expected mine to be a fairy-tale marriage where there was no room for divorce, let alone single parenting a child.
And now, here I stand, a proud single mother enjoying motherhood to the brim. Solo parenting can be exhausting and joyous in equal parts.
The challenges are similar to those of a couple raising their child. However, here you need to do all the work and yes, you can reap all the rewards.
For every single parent the journey is different and here are certain things which I have picked up while parenting my daughter:
Remember you are the head of your house and you are responsible for all the daily chores. Keep yourself fit, eat well, sleep well and model your life the way you want your child to live.
Yes you heard me right. You need to be a little selfish.
In a majority of divorces the husband bears the cost of alimony. However, in my case my ex signed a contract that neither does he want to have access to his daughter nor will he provide me any maintenance.
I was completely okay with it. No matter how hard I had to run a solo marathon, I made it a point not to quit my job.
Yes, again, you heard me right. You need money to run your family and for that you have to work. No one except you will earn that food you need for your own self and the child.
“Oh, it was all her fault.” “She did not know how to adjust.” “Look she is separating after having a child, shameless.” “Return to your husband for your mother’s sake, she is dying.” These were some of the taunts which were thrown at me.
Just ignore other people’s judgment about you. Do not be too sensitive, else you will perish.
My daughter and I are a team in our household. I taught her to prepare breakfast, get ready for school, have a bath, and pack her bag and perform other errands all by herself. Make your child self-reliant and in return you will be rewarded with a confident child.
Mark my words. I am saying this from experience.
Fix a proper play time, study time, TV time, and bed time for your kid. There is no need to set a routine for the child like an army colonel, but set a broad one and then breathe easy.
You will find yourself in a less stressful situation and it will also make your kid disciplined.
Please don’t try to be a Hercules, we all need help. And you too will need it when you have to repair that fridge, washing machine, television set, place things in order and so on.
Chill. Go ahead and ask for help. Don’t think that couples never need any external support; we all need it and there is no harm in asking for it.
You cannot avoid the fact that there will be stress. Financial stress, the feeling of isolation, emotional exhaustion, juggling kid and work will take a toll on you.
Make it a point to give yourself a break. Take time out for yourself.
As a couple I never enjoyed my honeymoon the way I enjoyed my stay at Goa with my kid. We could wear whatever we liked, eat what we wanted, go fishing and swimming together, which otherwise had been impossible with my ex.
He was a true role model of patriarchy and I am sorry, I cannot remain a submissive wife.
So your kid doesn’t like to shampoo his/her hair, your maid doesn’t turn up on time, your kid gets late for tuition. Sounds familiar?
It’s totally okay to live with such imperfections. Parenting is all about it. To err is human and the saying goes true for all.
There are couples who fight around these imperfections and here I am, a happy and carefree parent giving a damn to such trivial issues.
I bought myself a new scooty post my divorce. My ex took away the car before leaving us and I vowed to gift myself something in place of that.
It is an amazing feeling when we, the mother daughter duo, go for a ride. I just said being independent is amazing.
I had grown up hearing my mother’s words that I would be a queen to a king someday. But my fate had willed otherwise. I have no regrets that I have shoved away that misogynist, patriarchal, merciless man out of our lives.
As I said, single parenting is both challenging and rewarding. I am thankful every day for my life and the lessons that I have learnt as a single parent so far.
Mind you I am still learning and the feeling is great!
Picture credits: Pexels
Rimli Bhattacharya is a First class gold medalist in Mechanical Engineering from National Institute of Technology, an MBA in supply chain management and is engaged with a corporate sector. Her essay in the anthology “Book read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Menopause is a reality in women's lives, so Indian workplaces need to gear up and address women's menopausal needs.
Picture this: A seasoned executive at the peak of her career suddenly grapples with hot flashes and sleep disturbances during important meetings. She also battles mood swings and cognitive changes, affecting her productivity and confidence. Eventually, she resigns from her job.
Fiction? Not really. The scenario above is a reality many women face as they navigate menopause while meeting their work responsibilities.
Menopause is the time when a woman stops menstruating. This natural condition marks the end of a woman’s reproductive years. The transition brings unique physical, emotional, and psychological changes for women.
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