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A woman finds love again - with her husband. In a love marriage, life happens, and how does one get back to the love after getting really dissociated?
A woman finds love again – with her husband. In a love marriage, life happens, and how does one get back to the love after getting really dissociated?
I am married for the last 7 years and my daughter is 5; I know my husband (who also happened to be my boyfriend) for the last 9 years! Nonetheless, I fell in love again, but with the same man.
It could be quite surprising or very obvious to some, as it is a set convention in the society that we live in, a man and his wife must be in love; also, their marriage should be a successful one. However it is sometimes better said than done. A husband and a wife often tend to lose their identity in a bid to take care of their family, social obligations etc. They mistake responsibility for love.
We were not any different from these. We believe ourselves to be destiny’s children, for the way we met and got married was quite unconventional. He and I are from different cultures; and in our country it is often said that marriage is not a communion between the boy and the girl but between two families or two communities. But as they say, for what is yours will always come back to you, and so did this relationship for us. It bloomed in spite of the initial hiccups and here we are!
Once an exemplary couple amongst family and friends, soon we found this pressure to be perfect affecting us in a way that we failed to understand that every picture cannot be painted in happy hues, some would have traits of grief, dissatisfaction, jealousy and other negative feelings; it is only imperative that one should never let the bad overpower the good.
As days went by, minor frictions sometimes led to major ones; each day we tried proving ourselves to be better than the other. We became two different individuals trying to evolve in different ways and not as a team. Arguments that once happened within the confines of the bedroom surfaced overtly amongst the family. There began a power tussle between us that we remained oblivious to the rest of the solicitations/ advices/ suggestions.
Once hopelessly in love, we turned bitter, so much so that we shunned each other. We had become incommunicado! Until one day, during our morning tea, he popped the question, “Where are we headed to?” and I being the less expressive and more egoistic, maintained a stoic silence, not intending to give in again!
He being the more expressive one, kept cajoling me, pulling me into an embrace, but I was not ready to yield. However this time it was difficult for me to refrain from an eye contact. Our eyes did meet after a long time, and something happened. This time I did not make an attempt to pull away but tried again to give in. It felt good. At the same time, we could not hold back our tears. We could not deny that it had taken a lot for us to reach where we are today; we had not aspired to build all this to be destroyed in a blow.
That morning we did find ourselves; besides, we found our love back and succeeded in salvaging a relationship that was almost dead! And this we did for ourselves. Not for our child as our society commonly demands us to.
We could not agree more to the statement that says, “A successful marriage requires you to fall in love a multiple times but with the same person.” Thank God we did it.
A version of this was first published here.
Image source: pexels
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