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A mom writes a heartfelt yet the perfect note to her son as she leaves him at university where he'll be making his life as an 'adult' for the first time.
A mom writes a heartfelt yet the perfect note to her son as she leaves him at university where he’ll be making his life as an ‘adult’ for the first time.
As you step into these gates, let’s keep a few things very clear:
Yes I lied. College is not the end of all your woes. It is just another step in life.
There is this section in the Manual that comes with every child on ‘Things to say to teenagers to push them to work hard in school.’ The lines I used to repeat all the time – ‘This is it. Once you are in college, your life is set.’ ? Yeah well, chapter 8, page 34. Gotcha!
You have been squealing that you are an adult now, since your 18th birthday. So let’s get down to business. I will not be calling to wake you up anymore. You miss a deadline, well adult-up and deal with it.
Oh and the shirt isn’t ironed? Too bad. Plan ahead.
Adults figure their laundry out themselves. So use the services on campus. The denims that you bought? They bleed. You might want to be careful unless you want all your clothes to be a Pantone shade card of all possible blues.
And no, repeating the same unwashed clothes everyday and wearing them inside out is not cool.
‘Adulting’ does not of course mean your backside can not be whooped. We are Indian parents after all. We are above the law and international parenting standards.
Also, when I visit you, expect a hug. Refer to point no. 4 about Indian parents.
It is like sending you to kindergarten all over again. Only that you are more than 6 foot tall. And not in a diaper. Nevertheless, the panic is real.
So if you get multiple calls to ascertain your well-being, be patient.
(Refer to point 4 about Indian parents and all that). Remember when you were in grade 4 and told me about the bullying incident? We first deployed the sane strategies and our fall-back plan-B was? Yep. That still holds. I shall burn the world down if someone so much as lays a finger on you. One call. That is all it will take. And I will be there.
There will be all sorts of people there. For heaven’s sake get off your high horse and give people a chance.
I said people. Not the stuff that one sniffs, smokes or drinks up. I do have the in-built antenna I told you about when you were 4.
Being an adult is also about choices and their consequences. Should I party tonight? Or should I complete the darned assignment due tomorrow?
Choices! Choices! Weigh them. Picture the consequences. And then choose your hat.
As an adult, you might have brief periods of delusional cognitive superiority, wherein you’d think that you know more than us, your parents.
Sit down, deep breathe and drink a glass of water. The feeling will pass. If it doesn’t, ah well, go back to point no. 4.
However cool I might seem right now, a big chunk of my heart is going with you. Keep it safe. Love it. Love yourself.
Did I tell you that I am here? And that you can do this? I AM NOT PANICKING. YET.
Image source: shutterstock
Dr. Tanu Shree Singh is a parent to two preteen boys, a lecturer in Psychology, and has a keen interest in the area of Positive Psychology. Most of her theories of bringing up children, however, read more...
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"There is a story and a vision which makes us gravitate towards cinema. Even as we worked as assistants on ads, we realised that cinema was our true calling," say Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh Raseen.
The Railway Men. Mili. Cuttputli. The Diplomat. Bade Miyan Chote Miyan. And more…
Let me introduce to you the talented designer duo who have worked on these, and can be considered today’s upcoming costume designers for the screen. Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh.
Having studied at NIFT, Gunpreet Kaur Mann sent her portfolio out to several designers. Her first gig was as an assistant stylist with Manoshi and Rushi, who also happen to be a designer duo. She worked on an ad film starring Saif Ali Khan and eventually landed a full time job with designer Vikram Phadnis. Years of experience as assistant costume designer followed, which eventually led her to getting a break.
A ‘thank you’ makes a lot of difference in the way any woman in your life sees herself in your eyes. It might even mean the world to her.
I have not received any appreciation in the past. Probably never will. This is the experience of ample women across the globe. The expectation to be thanked for all the sacrifices she makes to keep others happy has faded. Yet the urge to hear few words of acknowledgement always lingers.
There is never a day when she pushes off her own burdens. She knows not to give up on people she loves. Women in general, are givers by nature and hence, give without asking anything in return. They have been the care givers and lovers since centuries however receive no appreciation.
It will mean the world to your mother if you answer her calls. If your sister seems lost give her a hug and assure her about her strengths. Tomorrow, there might come a day when you would have to make your daughter feel empowered with few words of wisdom every now and then. For the children to feel wanted and loved, you must be able to spare some quality time with your wife and be present in the moment.
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