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A mom writes a heartfelt yet the perfect note to her son as she leaves him at university where he'll be making his life as an 'adult' for the first time.
A mom writes a heartfelt yet the perfect note to her son as she leaves him at university where he’ll be making his life as an ‘adult’ for the first time.
As you step into these gates, let’s keep a few things very clear:
Yes I lied. College is not the end of all your woes. It is just another step in life.
There is this section in the Manual that comes with every child on ‘Things to say to teenagers to push them to work hard in school.’ The lines I used to repeat all the time – ‘This is it. Once you are in college, your life is set.’ ? Yeah well, chapter 8, page 34. Gotcha!
You have been squealing that you are an adult now, since your 18th birthday. So let’s get down to business. I will not be calling to wake you up anymore. You miss a deadline, well adult-up and deal with it.
Oh and the shirt isn’t ironed? Too bad. Plan ahead.
Adults figure their laundry out themselves. So use the services on campus. The denims that you bought? They bleed. You might want to be careful unless you want all your clothes to be a Pantone shade card of all possible blues.
And no, repeating the same unwashed clothes everyday and wearing them inside out is not cool.
‘Adulting’ does not of course mean your backside can not be whooped. We are Indian parents after all. We are above the law and international parenting standards.
Also, when I visit you, expect a hug. Refer to point no. 4 about Indian parents.
It is like sending you to kindergarten all over again. Only that you are more than 6 foot tall. And not in a diaper. Nevertheless, the panic is real.
So if you get multiple calls to ascertain your well-being, be patient.
(Refer to point 4 about Indian parents and all that). Remember when you were in grade 4 and told me about the bullying incident? We first deployed the sane strategies and our fall-back plan-B was? Yep. That still holds. I shall burn the world down if someone so much as lays a finger on you. One call. That is all it will take. And I will be there.
There will be all sorts of people there. For heaven’s sake get off your high horse and give people a chance.
I said people. Not the stuff that one sniffs, smokes or drinks up. I do have the in-built antenna I told you about when you were 4.
Being an adult is also about choices and their consequences. Should I party tonight? Or should I complete the darned assignment due tomorrow?
Choices! Choices! Weigh them. Picture the consequences. And then choose your hat.
As an adult, you might have brief periods of delusional cognitive superiority, wherein you’d think that you know more than us, your parents.
Sit down, deep breathe and drink a glass of water. The feeling will pass. If it doesn’t, ah well, go back to point no. 4.
However cool I might seem right now, a big chunk of my heart is going with you. Keep it safe. Love it. Love yourself.
Did I tell you that I am here? And that you can do this? I AM NOT PANICKING. YET.
Image source: shutterstock
Dr. Tanu Shree Singh is a parent to two preteen boys, a lecturer in Psychology, and has a keen interest in the area of Positive Psychology. Most of her theories of bringing up children, however, read more...
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Mostly Normal is a book of innocence, longing, filial love, angst and acceptance, encapsulating a gamut of human emotions within its lightweight edifice. The book touches the human heart and will stay with you.
Some books enthral you till the last page, and then there are those that you stop reading after turning a few pages. Some books are a one-time read, while you carry some books with you long after you have read them. Then, once in a while, a book hits you so close to home that you find it difficult to slot into any category.
I will put Priyadeep Kaur’s Mostly Normal (BookSoul Reads, 2022) in this last bracket.
At a little less than hundred pages, Mostly Normal is a testimony of the power of words to inspire, irrespective of their length.
Most women do not get to live their lives the way they want, on their own terms. So why should they be tied down in their old age?
Every morning, while dropping the kids at the bus stop, I find a grandfather waiting with his granddaughter. I see him again when I fetch the kids. This has been the pattern for the last few years.
He is seen actively participating in his granddaughter’s activities, from morning and evening walks to attending her parent-teachers meeting, sending her for extracurricular activities to even planning her birthday party. He is admired by all. He is appreciated for making himself useful in his old age. People rave that the doting grandfather is doing his duty towards his children and grandchildren. The much-admired grandfather is also a widower, having lost his wife years ago to chronic disease. It’s also to be noted that both his son and daughter-in-law are working parents.
Every day, the onlookers appreciate his sense of duty and dedication. They say that this is how the elderly should keep themselves occupied. They should bring up their grandchildren while their children go off to work.
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