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The Marriage Rule Book

Marriage is for happiness and not for adjustments only. It is not to make others happy and act as per their choices.

Daughter in law is just proportional to a wrapped up package who leaves her home, family, and at times her career and settles in a place to start a new version of her life.

Yes, it is a brand new version of her life. And it doesn’t stop with that, there are a lot of rules and regulations that are expected to be followed by her. These rules mentioned here may not be familiar to those who don’t live with their in-laws, but these rules are quite common.

Rule 1: Win everyone’s heart, it doesn’t matter whether you like them or not, it doesn’t matter whether you act like a clown, but your ultimate duty is to win everyone’s heart in the family and most importantly of the relatives’.

Rule 2: Every spoken word and unspoken action will be scrutinized. You may need to give an open apology at times to settle some trivial issues.

Rule 3: Forget your taste. Forget your favourite cuisine. You are a newer version now, you are expected to adapt to their style of cooking and eating in a jiffy.

Rule 4: Forget about privacy. It is a strict NO!! NO!! to get inside your room and lock the door, to have your time or to indulge in what you like.

Rule 5: You are no longer a decision maker when you are with your in-laws. Your career, your choice of outing, and even the food you need to cook will depend on their decision.

Rule 6: Get prior permission to visit your parents. You no longer have the right to make decisions to visit your own house, because in simple words, its no longer your house.

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Rule 7: You might be an independent woman, but marriage decides who you are in the long run. You are the only soul who is expected to keep your mouth shut and maintain peace.

Rule 8: Your only role in life and your only expected motto in life is cooking, cleaning and taking care of the family. Cling on to that and there is nothing more.

Rule 9: Your perfectly round rotis or soft idlis determines who you are and what you are capable of, nothing more and nothing less.

Rule 10: Dress like a woman, and not any more like a girl of your choice. You are prohibited to wear those tight fitted salwars or jeans. In some cases, if they allow, then be ready for silent stares and apparent sulking to make you understand their expectations.

And there are many such rule books, with different versions in each household. Remember the first thing your mom told you when you are stepping out of your house? “This is your new home and you have to adjust, bring happiness and peace wherever you go”, only these words keep many of us going and we keep accepting certain things.

Not surprisingly, many of us wonder why there is no “RULE BOOK” as such for the men in our lives. We can keep wondering for they make their own syllabus, which you are not allowed to do!!!

Change the system, change the rule and most importantly destroy those self-constructed rule books made for their convenience.

Empowerment doesn’t happen anywhere outside, it should happen inside you, from the place you live. Don’t ask for it but live for it, for you are worthy enough by every fibre of your cell. Let not others decide your choice of life.

Marriage is for happiness and not for adjustments. It is not to make others happy and act as per their choices. Take control, and yes at times change comes with standing up for yourself and not by blaming the system of marriage.

Not every home flips your dreams, and nothing changes topsy turvy in a day. Work on it, take command on your life, talk to them, make them realise marriage and the rule book doesn’t decide your character. When you start faking up accordingly to the rules mentioned to you, you might lose yourself at one point and eventually, the marriage will fall. Speak out and live for your happiness too, even you deserve to experience the real joy of marriage.

 

Image via Pixabay

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About the Author

Preethi

Food blogger and a writer by passion. Writing has been my source of let out, ever since my college days. Am a woman with a strong belief that you can make difference in everyone's read more...

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