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It hit the earth with titanic force. The very crust of the planet was thrown out of the atmosphere, falling back to the earth like a rain of fire. But through it all, I flew, unmindful of my melting flesh.
2019 is the year in which our beloved writing contest, Muse of the Month gets bigger and better (find out how here) and also takes the cue from the words of women who inspire with their poetry. The writing cue for March 2019 is these lines from Indian-British poet Nikita Gill, who has inspired millions of young people with her words, from her poem poem, Lessons From The Cosmos #2
It would take one million of him
to make even a single you.
The fourth winner of our March 2019 Muse of the Month contest is Ruchi Verma.
Your kind has given me many names over the eons. Lucifer, Satan, The Devil all words that you can fear! The Book calls me The Fallen Angel, the one who fell from the Almighty’s grace. Fell to the nightmare beneath your world.
You have feared and despised me. But not one of you has questioned thought wondered how can an Angel fall?
No, I did not fall. I was pushed from the edge of Heaven, banished by your ‘God’. Hear my tale and learn the truth of ‘Good’ and ‘Evil’. For nothing is as it seems. Remember that when you next say ‘amen’
65 Million Years Ago
It was a time before Man… a time when this earth was still young, and so, perhaps, were we. Yes, we! There were others like me. Michael, Raphael, Gabriel… my brothers. You would come to know of them as Angels, His chosen. The guardians of the earth.
I loved with all my heart, this blue green world my Mother had created.
Yes my Mother, your God! What else would you call your creator, if not Mother?
And I, as her firstborn, was bound by duty to protect everything my Mother had created. Including this fragile little world. A small pebble of rock in the endless void of space. Anything could destroy it.
But we would not permit it. Or so we thought.
It was Michael who discovered it. The gigantic asteroid that rushed through the Solar System, hurtling towards the earth.
If it struck…
“How did we not see it sooner?” asked Gabriel. Our senses reached across light years. It should not have been possible.
But I needed no answers. All I knew was duty.
“There is time for this later,” I barked, “we can debate its elusiveness after we stop it.”
Only now do I see the irony in those words. We were the firstborn of God. Nothing eluded us.
Raphael stared at me, “Lucifer, I do not know if we can stop it. A rock that size…” his voice trailed off.
“I know,” I replied, “but if that rock hits the earth, it will destroy everything we love, that our Mother loves.”
Michael looked at the others, and then at me, “Should we not ask Mother?”
“Ask him what?” I sneered, “permission to do the task he created us for?”
None spoke after that.
We stood in space, beyond the orbit of Mars. I saw the dead world and swore the Earth would not meet this fate. We would not surrender our world to an un-living piece of rock.
Then there was no room for thoughts. The asteroid was upon us, a mountain of unyielding might.
“It is time,” my thoughts screamed in soundless space.
My wings spread out around me, forged of heavenly fury. The fires of heaven burst forth from my being, flames enough to ignite a dead sun. Behind me, my brothers followed suit, the last line of defence.
We thought we were ready!
The space rock crashed against our wall of flame, and instantly I felt my body being pulverised. I struggled to stay conscious, blazing with power, unwilling to surrender. I heard my brothers’ screams, as they too unleashed their might.
But it was in vain.
There was a blinding flash of light, that eclipsed everything. And then there was nothing.
We floated in space, our wings folding into our being. And even as my thoughts struggled to form, my eyes turned to look at the rock.
It was beyond Mars already, unaffected by our power. I called to my brothers, but their lifeless bodies did not stir.
I screamed for my Mother, as I sped after the rock alone.
It hit the earth with titanic force. The very crust of the planet was thrown out of the atmosphere, falling back to the earth like a rain of fire. But through it all, I flew, unmindful of my melting flesh. But then the earth shuddered, throwing up a wave of lava. Caught in its fiery wake, I plummeted to the molten ground, senseless.
I woke up screaming.
I was in Heaven, surrounded by the grim faces of my brothers.
“It is over,” said Michael, his voice flat and unmoving.
I pushed past him, my eyes turning towards the world I had loved so much.
The earth lay in ruins. A cloud of impenetrable dust lay over it, blocking the light of the sun. A third of the planet was dead. And there was nothing I could do.
“WHY?” I screamed, and I felt the rage rise within me. Millions of years, I had watched this planet thrive… from dust hugging creatures to towering giants that shook the world. And now… all dead.
My wings stirred to life, as I forced my trembling limbs to move. I stared up at the white light of my Mother’s abode. Where was She?
“It could not defeat us,” I shouted at the light, “Not without your own power….”
I had uttered words that could never be taken back. But even as I spoke those words, I knew them to be true.
How could the rock have been unaffected by the might of the Angels of Heaven? Unless, it was meant to.
I closed my eyes, reliving the last moments of our encounter with the asteroid. I saw the blinding flash of light, as the world-killer burst through our defence. And in that light, I felt it…my Mother’s touch.
“YOU KILLED THEM ALL…” I screamed, as I rose in the air, towards the high realm.
Why would She not answer? I needed to hear Her tell me I was wrong!
I felt Gabriel’s hand on my shoulder, trying to restrain me.
“No, brother,” he pleaded, “Do not sin against the Mother.”
There was something in his voice that held me back. I gazed at my brothers below and saw fear in their eyes.
WHY? Why were they afraid to question Mother?
I screamed at them, “Why did She let this world die?”
Raphael pleaded with me, “It is Her will, brother, we are all Hers to do as She sees fit.”
No… I refused to believe that my Mother could regard us as mere playthings. But in my rage, what I actually said was different.
“Then let Her say that,” I screamed, “Let Her tell us that we were living a LIE. HERlie!”
Michael rose up beside me, the only one of them who could perhaps match my power.
“Lucifer,” he said, “there is no coming back from this.”
“How can you just let this be?” I asked, “we lost everything!”
“If She willed it so,” said Michael, “then it was meant to be.”
Meant to be? A billion lives lost, and that was all they could say? Were these my brothers? Content to be Her soldiers, unmindful of anything beyond herwisdom?
“No,” I replied, “I cannot let this act go unquestioned.”
“Lucifer,” he whispered, “find Her voice in your heart.”
“I cannot hear Her voice anymore,” I said, “and if She hides beyond the light, then I shall pierce it.”
Michael’s voice was hoarse, “We cannot pierce the white veil,” he said, “it is forbidden.”
“Old rules Michael,” I said, rising into the air, “blown away by the ashes of a burning earth.”
Far below…I heard my brothers’ prayers, “Forgive him Mother, for he knows not what he does.”
No, I knew exactly what I did.
The light exploded in fury, as I hit a wall of nothingness. The light reached out for me, living fingers of energy, that clutched my angel wings.
And then I heard Her voice.
“Repent,” boomed the voice of Heaven.
“Answer me,” I screamed, “How could you kill them?”
I felt my wings being pulled apart, my flesh parting from my bones. But I needed to hear Her.
“My Kingdom Come,” said the cruel voice, “My will be done!”
“No,” I screamed, as Her hands pulled me apart, “Mother, why have you forsaken me?”
I felt Her fingers rip my wings out, tearing away my Heaven-born flesh.
And I fell…with Her voice thundering in my ears.
“How dare you attempt to rise beyond your station?”
I fell through the light. My brothers’ faces flashed past, as the dying earth rose to meet me. But I kept falling, beneath its flaming surface.
I heard Her again.
“Who are you to question My Will?”
“Your will? Why create this world only to kill?”
“The world needs to be reborn, and birth cannot come without death.”
“Then why have us serve your farce?”
“To see if you can!”
And then the eternal fall ended, as I crashed upon a world of utter darkness. But where?
“This is your punishment Lucifer. I cast you out of Heaven and Earth. I curse you to the infernal Darkness of HELL.”
Hell, what was Hell?
“Your new home, Lucifer. The home of Sin, Your Sin!”
“MY SIN WAS LOVE. LOVE FOR THIS EARTH!!”
And my scream shattered the walls of darkness around me, and a tsunami of souls rushed in. Drawn to my rage, they were the spirits of the innocent life that had perished on this earth by the whim of God. I felt them, billions of them, rush into my realm, feeding me power beyond imagining.
Around me, blood and fire erupted from the ground, and screams of vengeance rent the air. A world of fire and torment was born. A world outside the grace of God. A world of my own.
I felt my own body change. Devoid of wings, and even skin, the ragged remains of my flesh knitted themselves together to form a new creature, one birthed in nightmares.
Lucifer was dead. Now, I was Satan.
And then I laughed. Yes, I finally knew my purpose. I did not need God, or her grace. It was a lie, a game that she would one day tire of. And that day she would end his new world as well.
And my erstwhile brothers would watch her kill again and stand mute in the face of genocide. But not I…I would show Her what a God could be…
But I would need strength for that. Powerful though I was, I was nothing compared to Her. Hell fed me, but I needed more. I needed the power of souls, of those that died in misery, and those that surrendered themselves to me. For every life that ended unbelieving in God, I grew stronger. For every thought against the will of God, I grew stronger.
And one day, I would be strong enough.
To save you all from her.
“Lucifer, my dearest child, how could I tell you the truth?
How could I tell you that death is inevitable? That it my task to guide this universe to that end? And that I would have to do it through you?
For only Hell can return this universe to the darkness from whence it came.
The day you wait for Lucifer, the day of your vengeance, that is when you unleash your power.
And that is when you end the universe. And only You can do this, my son.
Not Michael, or any of your other brothers.
Yes, you do not stand at my side, like Michael. You do not follow my will as he does.
But you are not Michael, Lucifer.
It would take one million of him, to make even a single you.
For he loves only his God. But you love what MAKES me God. Your hatred is fuelled by that love.
Only you can keep that love, and that hate, burning for eternity.
For there is none as pure as you. That is why I put my faith in you, my Lucifer.
To do what I cannot.
But how can I tell you that Lucifer?
I might have broken your soul.
But what mother can break her child’s heart?”
Ruchi Verma wins a Rs 500 Amazon voucher from Women’s Web. Congratulations!
Image source: pixabay
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Ruchi Verma Rajan is a woman on a mission of self-discovery.
An avid reader
Nice Ruchi congrats n keep it up.
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