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As a woman separated from her husband, as a single parent, I may be imperfect and messy in all the roles that I play, but what I always do is try.
I am a single parent and always feel that though the process is a little more difficult when compared to so-called ‘normal’ parenting, it is always better to give your child value-based parenting. Socially and financially – in all respects we may suffer, but believe me, we will emerge victorious. The only little thing that we need from our immediate environment is a little support.
I am not divorced yet but have been living separately for five long years as the man whom I loved, the father of my five and a half year old son is very busy with his own life. I experienced all the love, hatred, abuse, violence – almost everything from him, yet I believe that all these have made me the person I am today. The more he demanded that I stay detached from my family and just remain his trophy wife, I feel I became more and more responsible towards my ageing parents. I have always loved my in-laws but I believe but I could not really respect them as they were supporting their son.
Amidst all this trauma and drama, I continued my studies; I raised my son; I have my own house to stay in and also the mental strength to see the pictures of my husband’s love interest on social media. I am a biomedical researcher; my son studies in a good school; taking care of my parents and getting back the same from them, I have a few friends, and almost no social life – yet I say , we must win as giving up is not at all an option.
I may be imperfect and messy in all the roles that I play, but what I always do is try. Sometimes I fail, sometimes I pass (most of the time with a grade B now); but what is important is that I still try. I just want my son to smile and my parents to live their last years feeling supported as we are all only daughters; for my husband, my only wish is that he at least try to live a meaningful and respectful life.
Divorce/separations are permanent scars, and in the case of women, it brings in the double trouble of social and financial issues. After long five years, he has returned to me the money that he took once for building our dream house, for buying our car. I feel that it is absurd for people to say that try to forget these; instead, I ensure to use that trauma as my strength. Face it, fight it, but do not live in an abusive relationship.
I am enjoying being imperfect in a world of “relative perfection”.
Image via Pixabay
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Rajshri Deshpande, who played the fiery protagonist in Trial by Fire along with Abhay Deol speaks of her journey and her social work.
Rajshri Deshpande as the protagonist in ‘Trial by Fire’, the recent Netflix show has received raving reviews along with the show itself for its sensitive portrayal of the Uphaar Cinema Hall fire tragedy, 1997 and its aftermath.
The limited series is based on the book by the same name written by Neelam and Shekhar Krishnamoorthy, who lost both their children in the tragedy. We got an opportunity to interview Rajshri Deshpande who played Neelam Krishnamoorthy, the woman who has been relentlessly crusading in the court for holding the owners responsible for the sheer negligence.
Rajshri Deshpande is more than an actor. She is also a social warrior, the rare celebrity from the film industry who has also gone back to her roots to give to poverty struck farming villages in her native Marathwada, with her NGO Nabhangan Foundation. Of course a chance to speak with her one on one was a must!
“What is a woman’s job, Ramesh? Taking care of parents-in-law, husband, children, home and things at work—all at the same time? She isn’t God or a superhuman."
The arrays of workstations were occupied by people peering into their computer screens. The clicks of keyboard keys were punctuated by the occasional footsteps moving around to brainstorm or collaborate with colleagues in their cubicles. Most employees went about their tasks without looking at the person seated on either side of their workstation. Meenakshi was one of them.
The thirty-one-year-old marketing manager in a leading eCommerce company in India sat straight in her seat, her eyes on the screen, her fingers punching furiously into the keys. She was in a flow and wanted to finish the report while the thoughts and words were coming effortlessly into her mind.
Natu-Natu. The mellifluous ringtone interrupted her thoughts. She frowned at her mobile phone with half a mind to keep it ringing until she noticed the caller’s name on the screen, making her pick up the phone immediately.
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