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When you have a hole in your soul, how do you experience love and other emotions?
I plead, for the love I desire
I please, for you to admire
I can’t keep anything to me
as I got a hole in my soul
My one track mind
leads me to nowhere
As I get up every day and find my self in the same place
As I got a hole in my soul
For all the love
all the emotion
I reach nowhere no matter how much I stroll
It is killing me now and forever
it is a place I don’t want to be ever
I am numb and I could succumb
any time any moment
as I have a hole in my soul
I try to bury my feelings
as deep down as possible
but it’s not in my control
as I have got a hole in my soul
Image via Pixabay
Founder at Sanity Daily. Working towards Mental Health and Suicide Prevention Awareness. Helping Women Forge Her Own Path. Featured at 13th position under Top 75 Mental Health Blogs in world. A Sheroes Champion featured at read more...
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Why do parents avoid explaining the physical part of relationships to their children? The mindset is-'they will learn on their own like I learnt.'
Marriage. A word with conflicting sentiments. Love, exhilaration, fear, and adjustments were all deep sentiments that tingled in the pit of my stomach from time to time. However, I believe that the final decision must be taken solely by the two persons after the completion of courtship period (or whatever you call it).
My cousin got married in this lockdown. She was not very excited about the shrinking guest list. Though she was ecstatic she had me. More than the sisterhood bonding, we apportion a cognation of mentor-student. Moreover, I feel so protective towards her as she is introvert, shy, and timid. All I endeavoured and wanted her was her voice and a stand for herself.
It was her mehndi the day I reached. She rushed to hug me with those moist eyes. Fighting back my tears and holding her in my arms, my mind toggled between past and present. “I am so happy you made it di,” she said. It was the moment of mixed feelings, a reminder of the time when I was naïve to the change marriage brought into my life. I inhaled my lungs full of air in disbelief that the baby girl is getting married in two days. She blushed as others giggled and teased her asking her about the guy.
From the time one dancer went public about Pt Birju Maharaj through a series of stories on Instagram, the classic cycle of victim blaming started asserting itself- deny, disbelieve, discredit, disgrace.
Trigger warning: This has sexual abuse, victim blaming, and gaslighting, and may be triggering to survivors.
In light of the recent allegations of sexual misconduct by the legendary kathak maestro Pt. Birju Maharaj, a number of people are asking “why now?” Why is the person choosing to make the allegations public after his death when he is no longer around to defend himself? What is to be gained by sullying his reputation when he is no longer in the world? If these allegations were true, why didn’t we hear of it before?
This new year I plan to be more present and buy less things; to declutter my life and focus on meaningful pursuits.
The year 2018 has actually been a year that defined ‘new year, new beginnings’ for me. I’d resigned from my job (and perhaps bid goodbye to my decade long corporate career for good) and decided to pursue my writing more seriously; I also wanted to follow things that satisfy my soul, and it felt like I plunged headlong into this year with a resolution to do things differently.
It was at this time, that I came across an article by author Ann Patchett that made me think about the other aspects of my life as well. It surely couldn’t have come at a better time. The article talks about not shopping for things we don’t really require and what better time to start following it than when you’re actually without a substantial source of income?
Supriya Jain lost her husband in an accident after 15 years of married life. A Piece of Him is her effort to make sense of the grief following this tragic loss. This excerpt is published with permission from the publishers, Notion Press.
Supriya Jain lost her husband in an accident after 15 years of married life. A Piece of Him is her effort to make sense of the grief following this tragic loss.
When people are taken away from us we try and hold on to things. Do we get to do that? Or does that even make a difference?
It’s a month today since he’s gone. Do things feel different? I don’t know. Am I more upset today than I was yesterday? Perhaps not. Is it that we just give undue importance to dates than they deserve? What’s a week or a month or a year? That he’s gone is now a reality and no date, no time, and no moment can change it. All I can do now is look back on moments we spent together and be thankful for them.