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“Zero Is The Entertainment Value I Found…” | Zero Movie Review

Posted: December 22, 2018
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Should you spend your money on watching Zero? Well, that depends on whether or not you have a taste for CGI fuelled non-stories where everyone is walking away from everyone else. 

Remember that disclaimer at the beginning of every movie which says ‘There is no intention to harm or malign anyone and all characters in this movie are fictitious blah blah. This is just for fun’?Except, this outing isn’t funny.

I suppose they named it ‘Zero’ for a reason – I can’t argue with that wisdom at all, for how prophetic in hindsight has the naming of the movie turned out!

I’m trying very hard to make this less of a rant and more of a review but Zero is that possibility. When you bust up 2.5K toh Sirjee, heartburn is bound to ensue. 

Zero is the nutritional value of the popcorn bucket I guzzled.

Zeros are too many at the end of the day on my bill.

Zero is the entertainment value as Zeroing in on the crux is what the story department of this movie has missed.

What can one say about this spaced out movie? A sassy chatterbox vertically-challenged fellow (Bauua played by Shahrukh Khan) gets to make a giant leap from Meerut to Mars. He has this space scientist with cerebral palsy in love with him but he is lattoo over a bodylicious movie star who drinks hard because her heart is broken. Who gets whom forms the rest of the stress. In this movie, there are just too many who are walking away. From home, from love, relationships, from marriage, from space!

I wish I had done that too, but you know, I had invested too much monetarily and I am tough…I was determined to see this through. Zero is my wisdom apparently!

Oh, and that terrible pun on ‘Men are from Mars’? Very subtle.

Anushka should now seriously contemplate alternate avenues of expression for her creativity. In Zero, it appears as though she thinks shaking sporadically and twisting her lips while emitting some garbled words is the the epitome of terrific acting chops. (Please check Nagarjuna and Karthi in a Telugu flick for a ready reckoner)

And there is the item-song entrant’s revelation. Katrina Acts And How. Kat gets the cream and she can purr great too. The supporting cast is in terrific form either propping up Bauua or panning him.

SRK tries and tries hard. In vain. Now if only some of the money spent on CGI had been given to the story department. But there is a takeaway – we get the Love Ditty of the season which has the trademark SRK style Haath Phailaana!

On the whole, this was a ’short’ sighted step with arguably Zero returns. Meerut was messy, agreed, so was Mumbai! But Mars was kind of stretching it. Maybe they should have finished with the movie after the first half. 

Jab Harry Met Sejal’ is epic in comparison, and that should sum it up neatly for you. 

Mandatory Disclaimer: No animals or humans were harmed during the penning of this review/rant except a few mosquitoes and AJ. Go ahead and see it. You may like it and then call AJ zero-headed. I’m taking a zero chance on that!

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Anupama Jain is the author of 'When Padma Bani Paula', a breezy novel about second

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