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Sonu Nigam, I think it’s time you look at where your feet are set: whether on the side of the survivors and those who fight against abuse, or on the territory of powerful men who thrive on the pleasure of sexually assaulting women.
You recently lashed out at victims of sexual abuse who had accused your bro, Anu Malik. You also shamed them and their statements with derogatory terms that any decent person who believes in social justice will not use, and especially not against those seeking justice.
Several women came out naming and shaming Anu Mallik for his sexual assaults, including singers Sona Mahapatra and Shweta Pandit, but you are more concerned about Anu’s image getting tarnished “despite the lack of proof”. You said that people are “respecting the accusers, who are tarnishing Anu Malik’s name”, but by saying so, how are you neutral in any fashion?
If lack of proof makes the victims suspect, then by your logic, the abuser shouldn’t gain respect either. But why did your logic only apply to the victims, and not their alleged abuser?
If only proofs can make us believe the words of sexual assault victims, no doubt, many women would be called liars and the crimes buried deep – as indeed are the countless number of sexual assaults that go unreported, and are dismissed due to lack of evidence.
We can dismiss anyone because of the lack of evidence, and even with abundant evidence, we can choose to dismiss and discredit the claims if we are adamant about defending an alleged abuser.
By defending the accused so openly, and not filtering the venom you spew at victims, you’ve identified yourself as an enabler. You have given the alleged abuser as well as the in-the-closet sexual abusers the support they crave for to continue their hunt.
For the “How can you snatch his bread and butter?” question you asked, Anu Malik isn’t working on minimum wage as far as we can see. If the accusations are going to make him lose his job opportunities, we’d be very glad because it’s usually the victims who are shamed to quit their jobs and not the other way around. Having an abuser at a workplace compromises the safety of others. It creates more victims. Should we silence the victims, or should we kick the abuser out?
This statement isn’t going to help the victims or your sisters if they face sexual abuse, because you are so keen on having proof. It might happen to the women you know very well, and like many sexual assault incidents, it might not be recorded, and when they speak out, name and shame their abusers, will you ask them for proof as well? Not all justice come from an institution such as the court. Sometimes it’s the movements where people, especially the silenced victims from all events of life come together that gets us justice, and not just the institutions.
“So much sympathy for a millionaire losing work? So much empathy for his privileged family being ‘tortured’? How about the scores of girls & women he tortured? Multiple testimonies not proof enough?” – Sona Mahapatra questioned on Twitter.
Sonu Nigam, you talked about this twitter statement as well as the person who made the statement saying, “The respectable lady vomiting on Twitter, is the wife of…”. How can you see a person as just someone’s wife? And most importantly, I’d like to know what definition you have in mind for vomiting. We associate vomiting with sickness, and disgust. Are you disgusted that Sona took a stand against sexual assault? Are you sick that she questions your lack of sympathy and empathy for sexual assault victims?
We don’t want to stoop to the level where we call you, an individual in your own right, as someone’s son, or husband, or friend. We’ll just remember to see you as a someone who defended the sexual abuser. We’ll see you as someone who bared their chest to fight for the abuser; as the person who tried discredited so many women who had the courage to speak up against assault.
If speaking up with survivors of sexual assault is going to get people called a person who’s “vomiting”, let us tell you that we’ll be proud to vomit till enablers like you drown in our raised voices – loud enough to hush the voices like yours supporting sexual abusers.
Curious student for life. Periyar, Ambedkar, & Marx fills my gray matter; but I'm no blind pop-culture follower wearing a Che Guevara on my Tee, but a critical thinker who'll question any regressive read more...
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She would serve everyone fresh food and serve herself the stale rice and curries from the previous meal. Some days after finishing the leftovers she was so full she would not even be able to even taste the fresh food.
When I married the first time, my MIL told me that during the Navratri the lady of the house should not eat stale food. ‘Gharatlya bai ni shila khau naye’ — in refined upper caste Marathi.
I was just 26, eager to please, not versed in patriarchy or feminism, and it seemed like a positive thing — respect for the goddess in woman.
But soon I realised she spent the remaining 356 days of her year finishing leftovers. And that I was expected to do the same.
We say that we live in modern times and talk on subjects like feminism, supporting your loved ones, encouraging them to follow their dreams. But how many of us can really say that they actually do that?
We live in a world where there comes times in everyone’s life when one has to make choices which will leave a long term impact in not just their life but on the lives of those attached to them.
Giving the ones you claim to love the freedom and space to make their own choices and the wings to fly is not only the right thing to do but sometimes its also the thing they need the most; without having to face the ‘guilt’ of living the life they want.