Have you commenced the second phase of your career after a career break? Share your story & get featured at Women in Corporate Allies 2022.
Marriage is hard work, never mind all the romantic ideas of 'love' as today our basic needs are mostly met and we need higher ones. If both partners choose to make it work, it can be a happy one.
Marriage is hard work, never mind all the romantic ideas of ‘love’ as today our basic needs are mostly met and we need higher ones. If both partners choose to make it work, it can be a happy one.
There’s this podcast called Hidden Brain by NPR which is absolutely fascinating. They talk about the way our brains work in different situations. Like, what instigates jealousy (and the concept of schadenfreude) or, how nature and greenery bring about a positive change in our mindsets and behaviors, and so on. Recently, I was listening to a discussion on marriage where they were exploring how the concept of marriage has changed over the ages along with the fulfillment of our needs.
They explained it with the help of Maslow’s Hierarchy Principle.
Image source: By User:Factoryjoe – Mazlow’s Hierarchy of Needs.svg, CC BY-SA 3.0, Link
With the satiation of our basic needs in the modern times, we now look for the fulfillment of our higher needs from our partners. Not getting that from your partner is often the reason behind many couples not getting along with each other, or feeling stifled in a marriage, despite no apparent discordance.
They said, “Don’t look at the Maslow’s diagram as only a triangle, think of it as a mountain.”
And here’s where it gets interesting. They asked the listeners to think of marriage as climbing a mountain. “When you’re on top, the view is breathtaking but the oxygen is sparse, which implies you need to take some measures before reaching this position. It comes with some preparation and hard work. Similarly, in a marriage, both the people need to prepare for the tough conditions. Only with the requisite effort do you get the reward of the scenic view from the top of a happy marriage mountain.”
A few days back, I’d read a similar article which spoke about how being in any kind of long term relationship like marriage is (in most cases) a choice that we make. It is not about love. Because the definition of love is so ambiguous and fickle. However, when we make the resolve to make something work in the long run, we choose to work for it.
How beautiful is this? And I realize how similar this is to the pursuit of an art, like writing, too. The ‘muse’ or ‘the love for the art’ or that so called ‘inspiration’ are all grand yet ambiguous words when those are compared to principles like sheer grit, hard work, and making the choice to work towards things that matter to us.
Image source: a still from the movie Dum Laga Ke Haisha
Kasturi’s debut novel, forthcoming in early 2021, had won the novel pitch competition by Half Baked Beans Publishers.
She won the Runner Up Position in the Orange Flower Awards 2021 for Short Fiction.
Her read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
It’s sickening to watch habitual offenders like Sajid Khan crying on national television for being out of work for 4 years. Really, now Sajid’s playing the victim card?
Big Boss 16’s notorious host, Salman Khan and the Colors Channel has welcomed with open arms filmmaker and comedian Sajid Khan, who’s accused of sexual abuse by not one, two or three, but nine women to date, on the show.
Make no mistake, Sajid Khan’s participation is the digital equivalent of flashing his dick to the world, especially to his victims.
Saloni Chopra, film journalist, recalls her horrific hiring interview with Sajid, and much more, in this piece. Here’s a sample of completely unrelated questions that Sajid asked her.
During Navratri different forms of Durga, the Nav Durga. On one hand, women are considered the physical manifestation of Durga, on the other hand, most women are denied their fundamental rights
The festival of Navratri is one of the most anticipated. Commonly associated with Dandiya/Garba in western India and Durga Puja in eastern India, Navratri is celebrated to honour and celebrate the goddess Durga.
One of the most common WhatsApp messages circulated during this time is the nine forms of the goddess, Durga. Detailing the different forms of Durga, the Nav Durga, worshipped during Navratri, these messages are circulated and regurgitated each year.
The irony of these messages was not lost on me. On one hand, during Navratri women are considered the physical manifestation of Durga, on the other hand, most women are denied their fundamental rights.