Confessions Of A True Social Media Addict

Are you a social media addict? Getting there soon? This humorous take on a fairly-serious-issue will get you smiling.

Post the recent visit to the doctor identifying a shrinking gap in my cervical spine, and effortlessly attributing the cause to my bent neck posture with head immersed in phone, I announced – “Enough is enough. I refuse to be a slave to social networking.  It consumes so much of my time and health. I am not going to be wishing good mornings and good evenings and birthdays to all the uncles and aunts, umpteen family groups (political and genuine), past neighbours and present, school friends and college friends, holiday groups, alumni of past organisations, current office groups et al.”

I was unstoppable. I declared, “I want a life. I am going to put an end to my time on facebook and whatsapp. Facebook is a fakebook anyway. Everything gets leaked anyway. I am deleting all my whatsapp groups (tone getting louder). Except of course the meaningful ones such as kids’ school groups, kids’ school car pool group, family ones (political and genuine), neighbourhood ones, office ones, holiday groups and it ofcourse doesn’t honestly hurt to be in touch with school and college friends” (tone getting softer by then).

I was wondering if I was making any sense, but I felt lighter anyway.

Husband (till then quietly working on his laptop) smirked and said, “Why do you have to follow extreme steps. There is no need to exit any group. You just have to discipline yourself by reducing the frequency at which you check whatsapp and other platforms.”

Getting infuriated by this typically usual underplaying of my problems, I blurted, “Extreme steps? Oh, that’s because I am not moderate. If you think you have married the wrong person, you better deal with it.”

Husband (finally shutting the laptop as the immediate concern now was to salvage his marriage): “No way, you are the best wife one can get. I will find a nice rehabilitation centre for you.”

I punched his face lightly and decided to deal with it myself.

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The next morning, I deleted the facebook app from the phone thinking that reducing the ease of access would deter me from checking it. Hours passed with heightening withdrawal symptoms.  I was determined yet skeptical. While the urge to share ‘the feelings’ was mounting, I gave it a pass as I was determined to not dilute the rehabilitation strategy on day 1 itself. In a couple of hours, the withdrawal symptoms had taken full control of my mind. After an initial strong denial, then a soft shirking and finally an even softer resistance, I finally succumbed and logged in on fb.

On similar lines, my struggle to control my time spent on whatsapp met a rather awkward fate. Morning hours in office are usually rushed and I was on one such call in office when my phone rang. It was from my uncle but I disconnected sending him a message that I would call him later. After 5 minutes, when he again called, I decided to pick up the phone excusing myself from the meeting and worrying if anything was urgent.

It indeed was. As I hadn’t read or responded to his whatsapp messages carrying ‘good morning wishes’, he was concerned about my well being.

The above might be a story of anyone living in today’s world. Amusing as it may sound, it is indeed occupying a significant portion of our time which we used to constructively spend, either with friends or family. It is extremely disheartening. Relationships are suffering. Health is suffering and so is mental peace. My mom has always told me that an excess of everything is bad and consuming anything in moderate quantities will never be a spoiler. It’s perhaps time to reflect and redesign our days.

On a closing note, being a social network addict, I must admire those who are giving up their social media interactions for their love. For example, Prince Harry is indeed a lucky man. I read in the the news that Meghan Markle is giving up her social media interaction and accounts before their marriage. If I were the Prince, I would never doubt Meghan’s love for me. Giving up my social platform would have certainly given second thoughts about marrying the man, to me, atleast!

First published here.

Image via Pexels

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