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I apologise if I have misled you by this title; if I have made you think you will be beguiled by a story of two middle-aged, hopeless romantics finding love.
I apologise if I have misled you by this title; if I have made you think that as you read ahead you will be beguiled by a story of two middle-aged, hopeless romantics finding love and solace in each other.
Please remove all images of Jane Austen style wooing with a dark and brooding, yet occasionally witty, Mr. Darcy.
No, no, no, the following lines are not meant to reaffirm your faith in finding love, no matter the age.
I am going to talk about a real menace that many of us face, day in and day out that is, social media and its unsolicited messages.
The ones where 20 something, 40 something, 60 something men suddenly feel it is okay to tell you how beautiful they think you are, in the first five minutes of the conversation.
And then follow it up with lame pick up lines like; I want us to be good friends.
This morning I received a notification on Facebook saying that Arpan P. (name changed) wants to connect with you. On further investigation I realised that Arpan happens to be in a senior leadership role in a Global Bank.
Great, I think, perhaps he has heard of me as a Leadership Coach, and wants to connect. Although it did bother me that he’d rather connect on Facebook than Linkedin, but then again, you never know where new business might come in from, right?
So, with oodles of hope and an entrepreneurial mindset, I responded to his “Hi” with a “Hello, how may I help you?”
The conversation went something like this.
Arpan: Lakshmi, As now we don’t know each other… has no intention to bother u
Me (thinking so far so good): Sure, tell me…
Arpan: Tell me if I am no intention bothering u…
Me (thinking..hmm): How did you come to know about me?
Arpan (completely ignoring my question): I don’t intend to bother u, but I new to Bangalore…so exploring
Me (completely on alert): …
Arpan: So, I new here and I am only looking for a good friend.
Me: I wonder, why would you choose to connect with only a woman, when all you need is a good friend.
Arpan (again ignoring my question): I think I bothering u. Tel me if I…
u are very pretty.
Me: …
Arpan: Should I take your silence as a “Yes”? It hard taking rejection from a girl this beautiful.
Arpan (perhaps realizing there are unanswered questions): I…I saw ur author profile on Amazon.com. u really r very beautiful.
Me: (Blocked).
He saw my author profile and all he had to comment on was how I looked. I bet he didn’t buy a single book. Although, with that kind of language, I am not surprised.
It escapes my understanding how anyone can see your name on Linkedin, Amazon or any of those sites and then systematically set about searching for you on Facebook, until they find you. And then actually message you with hopes that you will instantly become “good friends” with them, because they asked you to.
Can you even imagine how many “Lakshmi Priya’s” would be on Facebook?
This isn’t the first time I have received messages like this one, and this won’t be the last.
The reason I have chosen to share the conversation here and not within the Whatsapp group of my closest friends, is because I know that most of you are no strangers to attempts like this one.
Normally I would’ve screen-shotted it and shared it with my close friends and we would’ve laughed and laughed until we got bored of it.
But honestly today, I do feel offended.
Offended that just because I am a reasonably successful professional, who is average looking and speaks her mind, doesn’t mean it is okay to text me and ask me to become your friend, by calling me pretty and beautiful, but not actually answering my questions.
I am 37 years old; I will call you out on your mansplaining me and disrespecting me without batting an eyelid.
Did you really think I don’t know what I look like, in real life?
Did you really think I would believe you when you say I am beautiful?
Did you really think I am so insecure and craving for validation that I will run into your arms and be your “good friend”?
Did you really think, I haven’t had my share of being serenaded by good boys, bad boys, Mumma’s boys and absolutely fake boys?
I have two things to say to men like Arpan – first of all I have enough friends, second, I am a writer, you really need to up your game, if you want me to be even remotely impressed by you.
Or wait, on second thoughts, I just have one thing to say;
I am too old for this shit.
Image via Pixabay
Writer. Artist. Dreamer...and a Coach. Hi, I am Lakshmi Priya, but I respond better to Ell.P. A leadership consultant/coach when the sun shines, and a writer/artist past midnight. read more...
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If her MIL had accepted her with some affection, wouldn't they have built a mutually happier relationship by now?
The incident took place ten years ago.
Smita could visit her mother only in summers when her daughter had school holidays. Her daughter also enjoyed meeting her Nani, and both of them had done their reservations for a week. A month before their visit, her husband told her, “My mom is coming for 4-5 months!”
Smita shuddered. She knew the repercussions. She would have to hear sarcastic comments from her mother-in-law for visiting her mother. She may make these comments directly only a bit, but her servants would be flooded with the words, “How horrible she is! She leaves me and goes!”
Maybe Animal is going to make Ranbir the superstar he yearns to be, but is this the kind of legacy his grandfather and granduncles would wish for?
I have no intention of watching Animal. I have heard it’s acting like a small baby screaming and yelling for attention. However, I read some interesting reviews which gave away the original, brilliant and awe-inspiring plot (was that sarcastic enough?), and I don’t really need to go watch it to have an informed opinion.
A little boy craves for his father’s love but doesn’t get it so uses it as an excuse to kill a whole bunch of people when he grows up. Poor paapa (baby) what else could he do?
I was wondering; if any woman director gets inspired by this movie and replicates this with a female protagonist, what would happen?. Oh wait, that’s the story of so many women in this world. Forget about not giving them love, you have fathers who try to kill their daughters or sell them off or do other equally despicable things.
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