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This letter goes out to all expecting and new moms, from this mom who’s lived the mom-life for five years now.
Hey Mama, how are you doing? How is the pregnancy phase going on? Enjoy this beautiful phase girl, it’s a once in a lifetime experience. Oh ya, you can always have more than one child, but the first pregnancy is precious, so just enjoy it. You are already a mother now so embrace yourself, go on a pregnancy photo shoot. If that is not possible you can always take a selfie in the mirror. Photos are more important, it does not matter how you take it. Eat what you want, listen to all the advice people give you during this time but just follow your inner instincts when you implement that advice.
Just in a few months your newborn will be in your hands – whether it is girl or boy it is your baby so just accept that fact. I know sometimes motherhood doesn’t come naturally from the minute your baby is born. It’s ok mama, every mom is different, it takes time to come to terms with all this. You have gone through so many decibels of pain during this pregnancy so sometimes our mother instincts will not work. Take your time girl, your child will not know all about this during that time so chill. Take the help of other family members especially your hubby.
If your baby is latching on the breast and you are able to produce milk, it’s well and good. Even if the baby is not able to latch, pump mama pump. It’s ok to pump mama, milk production is important now; I know you will have that mommy guilt but it’s ok girl. It is also ok if you are just feeding formula to your little one. Remember food is more important to your baby and also there are so many moms out there who give formula. Chill girl you are free now. That is the truth.
The first few months are hard – sleep deprived, postnatal depression and all hat roller coaster ride. Take one step at a time buddy, take help from others. No, you can’t do it all by yourself and don’t let that guilt settle on you. You need some break too, delegate the work to others. You can’t be perfect, neither can others be perfect when dealing with your baby – so go slow, learn from the mistakes. Make adjustments, plan according to your baby’s schedules. In between all these, take photos girl, make memories.
Just like that your little one will start crossing milestones, from solid foods to the first words. From clapping hands to standing up. All these will go pretty fast in between your busy life. Enjoy all these firsts. The feeling you get when your child first calls you Mama is eternal. This will be like heck during the toddler phase when you kid calls you by that name 13839 times a day. But this infant to toddler transition will be super fast, within a blink of an eye. Sometimes before you realize the magic of motherhood your baby is a walking talking toddler .
Introduce your child to a lot of books mama, they are very curious at this age, so the more you introduce them to the outside world the more they will learn. Don’t worry about the mess they are creating or the free time you don’t get because of them. They are exploring so let them explore. It’s ok if your house is a mess or you haven’t combed your hair. There is no need to be perfect in everything. If you want that hire a maid to do all the cleaning part. Don’t worry that you are not able to cook fresh meals for yourself daily – hire a cook, or else teach your hubby some cooking basics else get from outside. It’s perfectly ok. But just don’t forget to spend time with your kid. Try to spend time with family everyday for a little time. Bonding is important during this phase . The kids learn from you a lot so behave well. Think before you talk. They can understand you and your body language. Encourage them, give yourself a pat on your back too as you are raising a confident kid. It’s ok to make mistakes but as I said, learn from them. Make priorities and do all your things.
Once your kids start going to school, you get a lot of time for yourself and family. You are now free to do whatever you want. But please don’t cry during your kids first day of school. I know how difficult it is but it’s faced by every child – even us when we were kids once. You will be happy to see your kid exploring the world by themselves. Teach them what is good and what is wrong. They become cleverer and cleverer as they are growing, come up with the lies, so make sure you are raising disciplined kids.Whenever they are doing wrong correct them. It is better to rectify when they are small than repenting later. Surprise them and be ready to be surprised by them. Love them unconditionally and get the love and laughter in return for a lifetime. Remember motherhood is not the end of a woman’s life. There is much life beyond this, it is just a beautiful phase in a women’s life.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mommas out there. Have fun!
PS: The writer has a five year old kid.
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