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Having spent every waking hour tending to his needs, she suddenly felt frightfully lonely. It hurt her to even think of tomorrow, when she would wake up alone.
Her tear-stained eyes spoke to him, “It’s time to let go! You are in too much pain… Please don’t feel guilty, I know it isn’t your fault. This is how it’s meant to be. I’ll be fine. I’ll endure, I have to! Promise!”
As his eyelids slowly shut, she saw the signals on the monitor that he was hooked to become still…he had left her forever!
Alone in a house that was far too crowded, the urge to heave in sorrow suffocated her. But the children were upset and she had to contain herself for their sake. Her eyes burned and chest felt painfully heavy. She just wanted to escape….and cry; cry till her eyes were drained of tears. And drift into a dreamless sleep to forget the pain!
She was so used to his presence, the silence and emptiness felt overwhelming! Having spent every waking hour tending to his needs, she suddenly felt frightfully lonely. It hurt her to even think of tomorrow, when she would wake up alone. Knowing she would never see him again.
She wished she could remember him as he was in the photo on her table, handsome and smiling. But painful memories of illness and suffering tormented her mind. That was all that remained of him now…Memories!
She was bitter, angry and resented fate for this unfair turn of events that had derailed her life forever. But there was so much to be done now; paperwork, bills to settle, arrangements for the funeral, guests! And new challenges every single day… she wasn’t used to all this and barely knew where to begin.
But the distraction was good, it kept her from dwelling on the last few days! She found the strength to attend to responsibilities that awaited her and attempt things she’d never done before.
Days soon became months, and before she knew it a year had passed. The sadness never left her fully. She learned to live with it. It was now a part of her, just as he had always been.
But she was a different person now. She learned to step out of her comfort zone and do things she never thought she could. She made difficult decisions, and bore the consequence of her actions herself. It was a continuous struggle, but she coped. She was now a changed woman; stronger than ever before; no longer dependent, no longer protected.
She began to take care of herself like she always ought to have, for she realized she needed the strength and health to face her future. She learned to drive and go to places on her own. She lavished affection on her children, even as she sternly guided them towards what was right. She sought advice when needed, but the decisions were entirely hers.
She was a fighter and a survivor; stronger than ever before! She lived life one day at a time, rising to every trial that life threw at her and grieving in silence but staying strong…..learning things the tough way and going strong. She was fine, and was sure she would endure just like she had promised him….till the day when they would finally be together again!
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Always on the lookout for new things to learn, I am a voracious reader, globetrotter, ambitious cook and mom to two precious little men. While I'm not experimenting in the kitchen or resolving sibling read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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