I Am Happy That My Husband Is Not The Man Of My Dreams!

Posted: January 19, 2018

Growing up, I had seen many bad marriages. The idea of marriage made me afraid, and then, I married a man who was nothing like the man of my dreams… 

When I was younger, I had never encountered a happy couple. The definition of marriage for me was restricted to the compromises done by women; who often end up depressed, tense, sad, and sometimes embarrassed too… You see the results of marriage, irrespective of what and how much of effort you had put into it, and then it’s so obvious that you never want to marry AT ALL!

I had suffered much emotional pain and pressure, and was so skeptical about getting married. It didn’t end there. I would get depressed knowing that I WILL HAVE to marry and suffer, and I had imagined a ‘man of my dreams’ too, one whom I would have to marry! 




This man of my dreams, who was supposed to be my husband in the future, was a reckless, ruthless, emotionless, a typical male chauvinist who doesn’t know how to respect women, and is a dominating and self-indulgent human being not caring about his wife in particular.

That’s what husbands were for a younger me – blame it on the surroundings! I had already given up on the thought of not having a true man of my dreams as my husband, so I was kind of preparing myself for the disaster, because I never saw another version of husbands, except these things…

And then I got … married!

Needless to say, the initial days of my marriage were not not smooth. It was the time when I was overburdened by my over-polluted thoughts. I wasn’t as depressed as I was thinking I would be, but it wasn’t pleasant either… And then I started realizing slowly that the man I got married to was actually not the man of my dreams!

He was neither the man of my dreams who was kind of cruel…nor he was a knight in shining armour! When sometimes I cried on his shoulder, he didn’t make faces as if I was asking for his death, nor did he try to sweep me off my feet by cheering me up…

Instead, he just wiped my tears and told me that he is happy to know that I trust him, and he will continue to be trustful till the end. That he is there for me always, but I need to be strong and confident…

When I was battling with depression, he didn’t ridicule me nor did he slay my dragon for me…

Instead, at times he sat beside me holding my hands, calming me down, giving me strength to fight my own battle

He didn’t make me feel worthless nor did he make me feel that I was the center of his universe & he was lucky to have me…

Instead, he made me realize that it’s not the institution of marriage, but the people in marriages which fail. Nobody and nothing is perfect, not even the relationship! If you want your relationship to work, you have to work on the relationship!

When I talked about my career, he didn’t tell me to go to the kitchen nor did he ALLOW me to go ahead…

Instead, he told me that who was he to ALLOW me, that I am an adult, and I can have the freedom to take whatever decision I want to take about my life…

He might not have the patience for my unreasonable behavior, but he has strong words to pull me back from the worst situations…

He might not have answers to all things, nobody does, but he has the strength to gain wisdom from a tough battle. He never tried to make me happy all the time; instead he pushes me to find happiness within myself first.

He might not be all for sweet surprises and romantic dinners… He might not be the most romantic husband…

But he is definitely a supportive, loving, caring, and understanding one…

He never tells me that he loves me, but I can see the admiration and appreciation in so many things he does for me…

He may not be a mind reader, but he will always be there for me when I need him, roses or no roses, rings or no rings!

I am so happy that he is not the man of my dreams!!

Published here earlier.

Image source: Flickr, for representational purposes only

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