Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!

Pop CultureRead
August 8, 2017

When Harry Met Sejal, Danced Across Europe And Made Me Wash My Mouth Out

Jab Harry Met Sejal is truly...Something. Here's a sneak peek at how the movie (possibly) came about.

anupama_jain

Jab Harry Met Sejal is truly…Something. Here’s a sneak peek at how the movie (possibly) came about.
Dear Imtiaz, SRK,
Oh, boy! Where do I start? Let us get down to the brass stacks first!
What exactly were you snorting on, Dudes? Spill the beans already! You had to be high on something to make THIS and pass off on US!
I’m imagining the scene at Mannat…you are both in the balcony – just chilling, having red wine.
SRK: “Yaar Imtiaz ‘Piktur banate’!”
Imtiaz: “Shah! No Mon, No Fun!”
SRK: “No worries! Home Production! Mirchi lagadenge! Woh bhi lalwaali!”
Imtiaz: “Story? My last outing was a ‘Tamasha’, you know!”
SRK: “Why do you need a story when I can be in each frame, in HD? Tumhe pata haina, I can romance even a doorknob! Line lag jaayegi ticket counter pe! You try yet another angst filled, nomadic, overgrown man-child, who needs rescuing by another scatterbrained soul-searcher! Ooh I’m getting goose pimples. And get that Bengali babu who churns out killer Punjabi beats!”
Imtiaz : “Bro! You are a Rockstar! Socha Na Tha, Ahista Ahista kya Cocktail ban rahi Hai!”
SRK: “There’s more! Let’s show Europe and get all the travel agents on board! Discount mil jayegi! Better still. I will play a travel guide. Of course, I will drive a dishy car, sport kickass threads. What say to three buttons open with a tattoo peeking out?”
Imtiaz: “Done! We also recycle the title of my most successful flick. What will be the angst about? I have already dealt with ‘follow your call’, ‘dreams’, ‘molesting’ “
SRK: “Who cares? Punjab ki Khet B/W mein aur Colour dikhadena. Show some grooving lassies in dhinchak costumes, which even the locals wouldn’t be caught dead wearing. All in the name of authenticity! Be with me Bro. I will lead you, whenever you need help. Actually, that could be every minute.”
Imtiaz : “Don’t worry! So long as you are putting in the monies! Who will play the heroine?”
SRK : “Anoushka ko lelete. Sweet hai, simple hai. Sister types. Wife won’t get jealous too. Dippy bahut Pricey ban gayi, Vin Diesel ke saath, kaam jo karli”
Imtiaz : “I’m dancing on the ‘High’Way now!”
SRK : “Gujjus are the flavor of the year. Let us make Anoushka mouth silly Gujjuisms to get the laughs. I will play hard to get while she frets why I can’t paw the sexy her. I will then protect Anoushka from goons at a pub and she will swoon to become the ‘Cheap Aurat’ who will run away from her engagement, settled posh life, to become a Mrs. Tourist Guide. How romantic na? The Snap-chat Gen will simply eat out of my hands.  And one more thing! I really want to kiss on screen yaar! 50+ ka ho gaya hoon! Aur CV mein, not even one smooching scene!”
At this point Imtiaz passes out and SRK marches into the house, singing happily “BadSHAH hoon main BADShah!”
(The Puckering Scene is the yuckiest I have seen so far! I got home and washed out my mouth.)
-A zonked viewer

Liked this post?

Join the 100000 women at Women's Web who get our weekly mailer and never miss out on our events, contests & best reads - you can also start sharing your own ideas and experiences with thousands of other women here!

Comments

About the Author

anupama_jain

Anupama Jain is the author of: * ’Kings Saviours & Scoundrels -Timeless Tales from Katha Sarita Sagara’, listed as one of the best books of 2022 by @Wordsopedia. Rooted in the traditional storytelling of Indian legends, warriors, read more...

81 Posts | 268,475 Views

Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!

Feminist
April 23, 2024

There Is A Prachi In All Of Us! Why, As A Society, Can’t We Look Beyond Appearance?

UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.

Anjali Paul

Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.

While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.

Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.

Read Full Article
Load More Related Articles
write
advertise
intern
""
All Categories
Art & Culture As You Write It Attend Books Campaigns Career Growth Crime & Law Disability & Inclusion Entrepreneurship Fashion Feminist Fitness & Wellness Food For Young Women Humour learn LGBTQ Money Newsmakers Parenting Parenting Tips Participate Pop Culture Read Relationships Sex & Sexuality Short Stories & Poetry Social Issues Sports Stories From Moms Travel Women's History Workplace Issues