Shaking Things Up A Bit Is More Fun Now Than Ever Before! And you win exciting prizes.
Pre-order Paradise Towers by Shweta Bachchan Nanda on Amazon, send us the screenshot of the pre-order confirmation on firstname.lastname@example.org to win a chance to be at the launch party!
Some rapes matter more than others. Even as the awareness around rape in India rises, we are selective about what we will outrage for.
Soni Sori, the tribal activist who was brutally assaulted when being held in prison previously, is on a hunger strike now until she is allowed to enter a village where an alleged encounter against Maoists took place.
There is hardly any mainstream media coverage on this. Just as there is very little public protest over Sori’s allegations that she was maltreated in prison sickeningly, with stones being shoved up her vagina, and clear medical corroboration of the same.
Check out Mederma!
I have to ask, why is it that some rapes move the public opinion but other rapes such as rapes in prison or by defence personnel don’t? (And let’s be clear – shoving stones up someone’s private parts is rape, even if it doesn’t match the popular imagination of rape as forced penile-vaginal contact).
This is not about what you think of Naxalism, or whether we believe Sori is a peaceful activist or a supporter of a violent ideology. Even if we were to assume the worst of her beliefs, motivations and actions, are we saying that rape is an appropriate punishment by the state, for infringements against the law? That isn’t very far from the dystopian world of The Lesson, a novel by Sowmya Rajendran that has a state-appointed rapist to discipline women who break the law.
We stay silent, because we don’t want to believe that those in authority are capable of such things. After all, if we believed that, then we would have to acknowledge that truly, there is no safety for any one of us. (And indeed, we know this implicitly, even as we refuse to acknowledge it when it happens to other women. Just ask yourself if you would walk into a police station alone.)
Or, do we stay quiet because it is political and we believe that women involved in anti-establishment politics are playing in dangerous territory and should expect the bad things that happen to them?
When the protests over the Nirbhaya rape erupted, first in Delhi and then echoed around other parts of the country, it was heartening to know that the ordinary woman matters. Nonetheless, our definition of this ordinary woman is incredibly narrow. If she is young, urban, appears middle-class, then we are all sympathy. This fits our image of the ‘good girl’, the clean victim who ‘deserves’ justice.
If she lives in Khairlanji, a little place we’ve never heard of, and her sick death is the result of deep-rooted caste bias, we heave a sigh but believe such things will take place in ‘those backward places’ while we pat ourselves for being above caste.
If she is the wife of a criminal, and dies with him in an ‘encounter’ (after being raped), we say something about collateral damage and move on.
If women in conflict areas allege rapes by defence personnel…well, we would rather not go there at all.
As for women who are raped by their husbands, “What!”, we say with eyes wide in surprise, and let it go at that.
I believe it is a good thing that we no longer speak of rape in hushed tones, and many of us have moved away from treating rape as the end of a woman’s life or as the ‘loss of honour’. This increasingly open conversation on rape, and indeed, on all violence against women, is good news.
But, we have a very long way to go, until we completely internalise this, that rape is a horrible crime against the autonomy of a woman in any situation – and not just of some women who meet the criteria we have for them.
Top image of Soni Sori is a screen grab from a video
Founder, Editor of Women's Web, Aparna believes in the power of ideas and conversations
From a purely sociological standpoint, humans as members of different types of social groups, tend to feel a sense of belonging and empathy with other members (or perceived members) of those specific groups they perceive themselves to be part of, Thus we may identify easily and the most with middle class urban women and are outraged too if something bad happened to one of “our” kind. However, that should not be the way. If we prefer to be seen as civilised, informed and enlightened human beings we must be concerned more for the marginalised -those with all the odds stacked against them! This is where a spiritual outlook to living must be manifest. All our religious rituals are of no use to humanity if we can feel little or nothing for real suffering when we encounter it. Like you have rightly pointed out, we must raise our voices against the horrendous brutality of the act of rape and the clear criminality of the act any and every time we hear of it. It should be seen by everyone as one of the most gruesome crimes on humanity. It is a crime equal to murder, as the victim dies many times physically, emotionally and psychologically after this type of an outrage. We must not let the offensiveness and criminality of the act or the term rape be undermined by trivialisation, justification or flippancy!! As women we must support victims in our words and actions. As humans we must condemn and punish severely the perpetrators of such a crime.
While I agree with Sonia on how it is in some sense “natural” for us to stick to our “in-group”, yes, we also need to make a bigger effort to look beyond.
Thanks all for your comments. I agree our inherent tendency is to go with “our” group, however we may define that. It’s time to think beyond consciously.
A Marriage Certificate Is Not A License To Rape. It Is Time We Had A Law Against Marital Rape
Marital Rape In India: We Value ‘Institutions’ Over Women
The Focus On Death Penalty For Rapists Ignores The Monsters In Our Homes
To Tackle Marital Rape, We Should Be Able To Talk About Sex in The First Place
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Sign in/Register & Get personalised recommendations