Why Do Some Friends Stay While Others Drift Away?

Posted: November 30, 2015

Why do some friends stay and others just fade away? In this piece Priyanka, tries to find an answer.

Soul sisters, Best Friends Forever, Besties! We come across many women in our lives who we consider one of these. But is tagging them with that name is enough food for the friendship to last?

I met a friend for coffee the other day. It was a November evening. The air was chilly and the sky cloudy. As evening fell, we were both tempted to wrap our work and indulge in the luxury of having hot coffee on a chilly winter evening. Naturally, we got talking about everything and the discussion turned towards ‘relationships with our so called BFFs.’ Interestingly, we both realised that we have lost track of many of our ‘once upon a time’ close friends. Except a countable few, we were not in touch with many of our good friends! It made me thinking of why we let some people go and why some people stayed. How do we know our genuine friends?

Busy Schedules

As women graduate to a family life of course, they tend to have busy schedules. You need to manage a lot of things apart from your career. But I have always found that some women always make time for me. Maybe I won’t hear from them for six months at a stretch but at the end of the sixth month, there will always be a message asking – ‘How are you?’ If you have someone like this in your life keep them. Their busy schedules do not mean that you are less important to them. These women really take your friendship seriously!

Happy in your Happiness

Genuine friends do not distant themselves from you when you do well in life! They are more than happy for you. My friend told me that after she got promoted in her new job many people she considered close grew distant from her. But there were others who harassed her for a celebration and danced in joy for her success. They still tease her though saying –‘Maybe, the management made a mistake by promoting you.’ But, nonetheless, they are happy for her success.

Yes, this is a genuine friend alert! If you have any crazy person in your life who gets more ecstatic than you when you do well, keep them close. These people are a rare form of human species but nonetheless they exist and if they are in your life as friends, you are blessed!

Holds Your Back

I have friends who keep a low profile throughout. Except for checking on my well-being, or connecting occasionally they stand in the background. But the moment I tell them I need help, be it anything, they drop everything and come to me. I, of course, do the same for them. I always know that they are there for me. They never judge me. They never reject me. They always understand me. Trust me, they are the ones who will always hold your back. If you have a bunch of these buddies know that you will always be safe and taken care of.

Finishing off the last sips of coffee, when I looked outside I saw that the city lights have come up. A mild drizzle was starting. We decided that we better get going. As we bade each other good-bye I saw that my friend was wearing the bracelet that I gave her long back. She handed me a packet and said, ‘Found this on the road, thought of feeding a beggar, so got it for you!’ On opening it I saw that it was a packet of chocolate and raisin coated dates that I liked. We hugged each other goodbye. As I made my way home, I did not feel the chill of the weather. Maybe it was the coffee or maybe it was the love of a friend that kept me warm.

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