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Why do we still believe men need to be the first movers when it comes to dating? Here are 6 great reasons for women should make the first move too!
Why do we still believe men need to make the first move when it comes to dating? Here are 6 great reasons why women should make the first move too!
Picture this. You’re sitting at the table with your friends, a mixed gang of singles and couples. You like the chap in front of you. You flip your hair from side to side, laugh at his lame jokes, and yet, at the end of the evening, you are left wondering why he didn’t act. Does he like me? Does he not? If you are willing to put out those hints, then why not make the first move?
At times dating and relationships can be complex, and making the first move could be just as vital as in a game of chess! Making it easier today are new products like Woo, a handy matchmaking app that Indian singles are rapidly signing on for.
If you’re wondering whether you, a woman, should lead or not, then this article answers your question.
Everyone is talking women’s rights, equal pay, greater freedom and I guess you are too. So, shouldn’t that begin right here, with you? Today women take a call on so much in their lives independent of their family and friends – education, which bike or car, career moves and even if they want to get married or have a child. Then why not take the lead on a crucial baby step, i.e. a date? It seems unfair to ask for equality only in easy situations.
Making the first move is like putting your heart out there and hoping it doesn’t get trampled. We love to dump that on a man, and if he doesn’t make that move, you dismiss him, say he isn’t interested, and then bundle away your heart, safely. At this point, you can make the counter argument, but the guy should ask if he likes me… Modern men, the kind I suspect you want to hang out with, might not always see it like that.
I spoke to a self-assured 27 year old who felt that when women don’t make that first move he assumes they aren’t sufficiently interested. Another guy felt that it shouldn’t be him asking all the time, and it would be nice if a woman did too. Demanding equality? Ah, and we are back to empowerment. Take the risk! So what if you miss?
As we get lost in the pressure of challenges in front of us, we often adapt, maybe even modify who we are; perhaps just a survival technique. Remember that last interview where you put on a show while quaking inside? And with a guy, it tends to get turned up a notch. We tend to modify ourselves to fit into a mould of what a woman should be like. But why be imprisoned by stereotypes that are archaic and not in-tune with the woman you are? If you want to make that first move, don’t hold yourself back by thinking it’s not ‘acceptable’. You are a confident, clear-headed woman, sometimes even in matters of the heart, so why push it under the rug? Respect yourself and he will too. Honestly, if a guy doesn’t like you as you are, then he probably isn’t worth the bother.
A healthy relationship allows for a seesaw of power, if one calls it that. That oscillation, with a different person dominating each moment, builds a healthy and interesting relationship with equality at its heart. Leading does not mean you are dominating, or being needy. Does saying sorry after a fight mean it was your mistake? It doesn’t always. It means you are choosing to be active, you are choosing to control that moment, positively, and move forward.
We live in era of gender blending. Men are encouraged to embrace their feminine sides without it threatening their manliness. In fact men who have embraced all their qualities seem more complete and grounded. If a guy is shy, or reserved, or not upto sticking his neck out, you can help by taking that first step. Leading doesn’t make you the alpha female, or him the non-male. It just means you aren’t living in the Stone Age! Fortunately!
Everyone has that one cute guy they wish they’d asked out. One hip and fashionable girl told me she fell for a gorgeous guy – hook, line and sinker. She asked him out, he refused and that left her feeling hurt, rejected and foolish. Today, she is happy that she doesn’t wonder what if she’d asked. It might have been a rejection, but it isn’t a gnawing regret; in fact, quite the contrary. Another woman told me that she hadn’t asked out a guy she was crushing on for the longest time because she felt her colleagues at work would think she was forward, maybe even slutty, and laugh at her if he said no. (Shaking my head, shrugging my shoulders – you get the drift.)
As someone wise said, “The only things you regret are the things you don’t do”.
Be with the times. Strength is in. There is a great amount of empowerment that comes from being active instead of passive. Dating apps help you, the 21st century woman, take the first step without being exposed to any judgement or ridicule. Don’t be left behind, join the ride. Yes, there might be the fear of blind-dating, but you can be sensible. Ensure the first date is always in a public place, in daytime, and maybe meet just for a coffee. That ways you can get out if you feel uncomfortable, or even bored.
You are a solid, fearless and self-assured young woman. Be that in every sphere of your life.
Go ahead and download Woo, India’s leading matchmaking app that considers women’s well-being and safety their priority. They match over 10,000 singles daily and recently crossed over 1 million installs.
Post supported by Woo. Woo is a leading match-making app for urban singles looking for a life partner. Download Woo from the Google Playstore or the App Store.
young woman looking image via Shutterstock
bhavani is an independent fiction and non-fiction writer.
She has crafted over 20 heritage walking tours for Audio Compass and has over 70 non-fiction articles published in leading national and international magazines, newspapers read more...
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