Over the years, your support has made Women’s Web the leading resource for women in India. Now, it is our turn to ask, how can we make this even more useful for you? Please take our short 5 minute questionnaire – your feedback is important to us!
A mother writes a heartfelt letter to her daughter on the difficulty of being the elder sister. She also shares the guilt of putting her daughter in the place, she is into. Do read.
My dear Pumpkin,
It may seem as though I favour your younger sister over you. Nothing could be further from the truth.
When you snatch a beloved book from her, followed by her inevitable screams, my knee-jerk reaction is to demand you return it to her. I impatiently tell you that we don’t take from others without asking permission first. Then, upon seeing your serious and contrite expression, I go on to say that Peanut is younger than you and you have to show that you’re a good big sister.
When Peanut looks up and sees that you now have a toy phone in your hands as a consolation prize, she drops the book like it’s nothing and moves in for the kill. Before you can react, she swipes the phone from your unprepared hands, leaving you in shocked indignation.
“Mama!” you cry out (and righteously so). You look to me for guidance, for protection.
“It’s all right,” I hear myself say before I can stop myself. “She’s just a baby. Let her have it.”
Your face falls, and you walk slowly to your little kitchen to lick your wounds. I’ve taken her side. Again.
I am dismayed by my behaviour but feel as though there is nothing I can do. Peanut is at her ‘terrible two’ phase, where reason and logic go for a toss. There is absolutely no way I can explain to her how much she is hurting you, her big sister, by her behavior.
This scenario is repeated at least four more times that day. Each time, you are the loser.
I try to explain that you are the one who should share, be understanding, and give Peanut what she wants, because she is The Baby and you are The Big Sister.
I try to explain that you are the one who should share, be understanding, and give Peanut what she wants, because she is The Baby and you are The Big Sister. I try to ignore the look of disappointment and injustice etched on your features. You feel betrayed.
I know it can’t be easy for you.
I know, because I’m a big sister too.
It must be so hard for you to understand it all now, but someday, you will. All the arguments, fights, shouting matches—and I almost always side with her.
I can try to explain it to her. But trust me, she won’t get it. And you do, even if you don’t yet understand all the reasons why it has to be this way right now.
You are sweet. You are strong. You are brave. You are the eldest child, an unsung hero.
I thank you for your trust, and for still believing in me.
Indian sisters image via Shutterstock
First published at the author’s blog
Jen has always enjoyed visual communications and writing ever since her school spelling bee days. She is passionate about design and the written word.
When she's not blogging, playing wife, mom, international politics aficionado, read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
He said that he needed sometime to himself. I waited for him as any other woman would have done, and I gave him his space, I didn't want to be the clingy one.
Trigger Warning: This deals with mental trauma and depression, and may be triggering for survivors.
I am someone who believes in honesty and trust, I trust people easily and I think most of the times this habit of mine turns into bane.
This is a story of how a matrimonial website service turned into a nightmare for me, already traumatized by the two relationships I’ve had. It’s a story for every woman who lives her life on the principles of honesty and trust.
This can have a drastic effect on other victims of domestic violence. It will also encourage the abuser that they can now threaten their victim that he/she may end up like Amber Heard on the internet.
The lives of actors, be they from Hollywood or Bollywood, trouble my peace. Though they are worshipped by their fans, the real-life of many is quite troubled. It is scary to see what money and fame can do to a person. These are the people who have made me realize that fame and money are not that important.
I usually try to avoid reading about actors and their lives but there is no escape when the internet gets flooded with news and you come across it again and again as it happened with Aryan Khan’s arrest, Will Smith slapping Chris Rock, or now Amber Heard v/s Johnny Depp case.
We clearly see the pattern of uncivilized society in the above-mentioned cases where the mass verdict is passed even before the jury or judge passes the sentence. Usually, there is no middle ground for these people who are just there to make a topic trending on the internet. One is black and the other is white, there are no shades of grey for these modern-day witch hunters.