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In this reflective post, the writer rightly questions, do people around us know us? And why are we so afraid to be just ourselves.
I happened to read a quote on Facebook that said, “Inside every person you know, there is a person you don’t know.” How true is that! Sometimes, when we are going through a rough patch, we look at all the happy faces around us, and long to switch places not knowing if the picture is really as rosy as it appears.
Every person here has a world that we all see, and a world that we don’t. Every person here is not the person we really know! The lovey-dovey couple, holding hands while walking down the street, or in snapshots of their vacations, may as well be living a loveless life, their marriage on the verge of a breakdown. The display of affection may be just that – a display, a show put up for the world to notice them and nod its head in approval and amazement at a life filled with joy. We see the smiles on their faces and feel the pinch, when we find our own lives bereft of that love, that companionship. But, do we look closer, to see if their smiles reach their eyes?
The sunshine girl at your office, perpetually cheerful and full of energy, may be fighting demons of loneliness and despair.
The sunshine girl at your office, perpetually cheerful and full of energy, may be fighting demons of loneliness and despair. Your most chattery friend, who enlivens the atmosphere at your friendly meets, may be battling frustration due to an unsuccessful career. The neighbour, who overwhelms you with her love and attention, may have a terrible life behind those closed doors. You never know! We, the social beings, rarely if ever, exhibit our true selves to the world with whom we socialize. And not just the world outdoors, but also the world, we live in close proximity with – our family, our close friends. Our parents know us, but to a certain extent, and so do our siblings, with whom we grew up. Our partners often claim to know us, but, really, do they? Our closest friends, with whom we share our innermost feelings think that they know us well, know our secrets well, but do we really share every story of ours, every scar, every tear with them, either?
Impressions can be deceiving. It is a line that often comes to my mind, especially when I look at photographs shared on the social media. True. All that glitters is not gold. Every smile may not bloom from the bottom of the heart. It may just be pasted up there, on the face, for effect. So, why is it that we hide our true selves from our people? Why do we forget that we are all humans, with our own set of weaknesses, our idiosyncrasies, our handicaps? We all have a different life, a different story, which is not perfect in any way. Then, why the constant effort at putting up a facade of a perfect life? What is it that we would gain from this falsity?
We believe in the maxim, laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone so much, that we fear being alienated lest we reveal our true selves
I think, it is the fear of losing out on affection from our loved ones were they to see our true sides, that keeps us from sharing ourselves wholly with them. We believe in the maxim, laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone so much, that we fear being alienated lest we reveal our true selves. I wish we could open ourselves up, to the people who care about us, who share their world with us. Hiding behind a mask can be taxing. Living our entire lives wrapped up in a garb of pretense can leave us fatigued. Not only that, after a period of time, the line between reality and make-believe blurs, leaving us confused, muddled up. Why can’t we accept our life as it is, and be proud of it? Why don’t we stop pining for a perfect world? Attain a perfect us? Life would be a lot easier, a lot clutter-free and a lot more genuine. But, the question is, do we have it in us to ‘come out of our closet?’
Man with a mask image via Shutterstock
With the help of words, I share my life. Words that inspire, words that touch a chord, words that share stories of battles we all fight. read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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