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A new bride narrates how the aunties living on her street have a question about everything, from having a baby to her online status.
I’ve been married for around six months now and the recurring questions shot at me from various strangers who have no idea who I am, are:
How are your in-laws like? Not too nagging na? With a shroud of caring draped over the question
Who does the cooking, you or the husband?
Why haven’t you gone for a honeymoon yet?
Why did you cut your hair so short? You’re married na?
Do your in-laws approve of your western clothing and all?
Are you still a night lark?
You don’t speak that much to friends and all na? Like…nowadays?
Why are you online in the nights? Husband won’t scold ah?
Are you planning to have a baby later? That’s not advisable, you know na? Emphasis on “planning” and a thoroughly horrified expression.
As a new bride, the pressure to adjust and beautify my new home, the expectations that have been placed before me to surpass my mom’s capacities as a wife/daughter in law, have been heavy enough. With all these random questions shot at me, at various random occasions, mercilessly sometimes (because I hardly know everyone in my new family, how on earth am I answerable to people I don’t even know?) only make me question the reason why such people even exist.
I understand. Getting married, finally taking the plunge, joining the brood, starting a family, are all concepts that make the person involved, and the people witnessing, equally excited. But, should curiosity give in to awkwardness?
She got quite excited towards the end and asked me about the regularity of my monthly cycle in the presence of my in-laws and husband.
The other day, an aunty who lives at the corner of the street, came home to educate my husband and me about the importance of having a baby immediately after tying the knot. She got quite excited towards the end and asked me about the regularity of my monthly cycle in the presence of my in-laws and husband.
Okay, so I’m this totally cool as a cucumber person when it comes to dodging topics and so I was like, “Talking of cycles, I remember not falling even once when I rode my brother’s cycle for the first time!” There was an awkward silence for quite some time, following which my husband (being the darling that he is) began elucidating his first cycling experience and later my father-in-law shared his miraculous escape during a totally reckless cycling incident.
I know, there’s no reason to worry when you have cool people like that to back you up. But the story doesn’t end there. The estranged aunty from the corner of the street, realized that we were being not-so-involved in her talk and decided to use a huge explosive intrusion to garner all attention. She suddenly started talking in a highly artificial voice with so much emphasis on each word, about her distant (read “non-existent”) relative and how his wife refused to have a baby immediately after marriage and so he went somewhere else and impregnated another woman.
That did the trick. We were all blown away at her totally exuberant demeanour, and a few gasps were heard. The silence that followed was more awkward than the first one. I (being the badass chick of the family) retaliated with a simple, “My God. Such desperation to prove he’s fertile after all. What a macho man”. The family was in splits and the aunty from the corner of the street had no more comebacks and no more joy left in her poor poor soul.
On one hand, we have aunties whose noses are always lost and found in somebody’s business. On the other hand, we have information providing enthusiasts. You might’ve met them everywhere.(If you’re married, that is).
Raghav and I did family planning after Aysha was born. He wanted more but I said no..I was weak and all.
“Raghav and I did family planning after Aysha was born. He wanted more, but I said no…I was weak and all…But you should hear this story about how Aysha was born after 8 hours of labour..”
These people are the ultimate dream come true for aunties from the corner of the street.
Is it that hard to let people be?
I’m not opposed to joint families or the joys they bring. I’ve been in a joint family for long and I did love the system.
But aren’t we being a little selfish when we want to know every savoury detail about the other person’s life?
So what if she’s living together without getting married to a boy?
What if she’s having a pixie cut after having three kids?
What if she calls her husband by name, even though she’s very young?
What if she postpones having a baby?
What if she’s not gone for a honeymoon?
Why is it our line of interest?
My last question is, why can’t I live in my very own nutshell of peace, without owing an explanation for my every move to various aunties from the corner of the street?
A newly married Indian couple image via Shutterstock
Guest Bloggers are writers who occasionally share their interesting ideas and points of view with
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