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Often, we assume that a victim of marital rape (or domestic violence in general) should be able to walk out of her marriage easily. Here's why it doesn't happen.
Often, we assume that a victim of marital rape (or domestic violence in general) should be able to walk out of her marriage easily. Here’s why it doesn’t happen.
It does seem to be a simple solution. A direct and easy way out of a troublesome marriage is to break away from it. The easiest way to move away from a spouse who violates you is to leave him/her.
But is reality that simple? Is it that straightforward?
In India, marriage is an institution. It is a sacred institution. You have to respect it. You have to stand by it. More often than not, there is an unsaid, yet heavy clause hanging by that: “You have to stand by it (or else)”.
The inherent conceptions, perceptions and opinions about marriage are influenced by patriarchy and closeted ‘common sense’. These play a stifling role in warping the minds of victims – of marital rape, or of domestic violence in general – who may want to speak out.
These are some questions that victims may grapple with:
These are just a few scenarios that may play out in a victim’s mind, warping their minds against doing what is best for them.
So if divorce does appear to be a simple way out, just think about it more. There is more to it.
There is so much more.
First posted at the author’s blog
Sad eyes of a woman pic via Shutterstock
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Noelle Page from The Other Side of Midnight, and Subbu from Aaranya Kandam, tell young women that "it's a man’s world, but you still have the power to bend it your way."
Noelle Page from The Other Side of Midnight, and Subbu from Aaranya Kandam, tell young women that “it’s a man’s world, but you still have the power to bend it your way.”
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There are women who spend their whole lives trying to make something of themselves, standing up for themselves and their rights. But no matter how hard they try, there’s still an underlying tone of ‘rebellion’ in this progress and it is brushed off as being ‘arrogant’.
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Marriage isn't a a licence for sex, no matter what your 'tradition' says. A woman's bodily autonomy needs to be respected. Criminalise marital rape.
Marriage isn’t a a licence for sex, no matter what your ‘tradition’ says. A woman’s bodily autonomy needs to be respected. Criminalise marital rape.
Consent continues to be a concept that eludes many men who feel entitled to sex upon marriage. Marital rape isn’t yet considered a crime in its entirety. Here’s a look at why India should criminalise marital rape.
“He is your husband after all. And what about the society, what will people think of us then?” These are presumably some comments that an Indian woman has to hear if she speaks up against forced sex with her husband.
Rape in a marriage, that is, marital rape, is still a big problem in India, with the law still considering marriage 'sacred', unwilling to really take action!
Rape in a marriage, that is, marital rape, is still a big problem in India, with the law still considering marriage ‘sacred’, unwilling to really take action!
“Rape is the crime, typically committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse or any other form of sexual penetration with the offender against their will”. – Oxford Dictionary definition.
We generally associate this term with a situation when the man involved is a stranger. But what if it’s the person within the home, such as one’s spouse? Marital rape, the term used in such cases, is non-consensual sex in which the perpetrator is the victim’s spouse. The force could result in intimate partner violence, an abuse of power, establishing dominance and control over the other.