A Revolt Within, Change Without

Posted: July 15, 2014

How does one contribute to a cause? Here is a reflection on how change begins from within.

Today, I am glad to be aware enough to write this article. It took me months to decide whether I should come out with this story, which I encountered months back.

I may sound gender biased, or a feminist. But it’s absolutely fine, because I have encountered the scenarios in a much finer, detailed way; so I understand what exactly the reality is. It’s not that I know it all, it’s just that I have known and seen a lot, with a lot more left unseen. I am not unaware, and above all, because I am a woman myself, I have the right to take a stand on it.

Everyday, we come across stories of violence against women. We protest. We support such causes.I have always been one of them – a supporter for social issues. But, my question is – how many of us can actually support or fight for such issues,when actually subjected to such situations?

A few months ago, I learnt this lesson: just saying that you support a cause, or commenting on social networking sites about such social issues does not mean you are a feminist/supporter.

There was a couple who were our family friends. They wanted to sort their quarrel in the presence of our family. The husband, being a powerful man, was dominating, with the wife as the submissive one. In the heat of the quarrel, the husband actually started abusing the wife physically.

My mother and I, being the only ones present there at that moment, tried to explain to the man that it’s not right. We asked him to stop, but in vain. I myself got a few punches in the process of guarding the woman.Thankfully, the husband cooled down and we could stop the abuse, at least for that time being.

What does your generation think, eh? That everything is beautiful and rosy in this world? Wake up!

I, terrified, shared my emotional state to my Didi. I still remember her words, “Why are you crying? What does your generation think, eh? That everything is beautiful and rosy in this world? Wake up! This is what reality is! Just saying that you are against gender violence is not enough! Face it, the things you say you fight for, are right in front of you now. Why are you hiding from it and coming to me to share your sorrow? Fight!”

Due to my family’s pressure, I couldn’t follow up with that. Yes, I am guilty that I couldn’t take any legal action against that incident then, and I am pretty sure there are many like me, carrying this guilt with them .

But lesson learnt, God makes you encounter and learn things that you are very much capable of handling, I guess.So somewhere inside I know that I am prepared to fight for this in every possible way, to set an example. As Gandhiji said: Be the change you wish to see in the world.