Over the years, your support has made Women’s Web the leading resource for women in India. Now, it is our turn to ask, how can we make this even more useful for you? Please take our short 5 minute questionnaire – your feedback is important to us!
Reshma Gude is a software professional and mother to a young child. She blogs at Reshma Musings.
Whenever my husband and I talked about having a baby, we always pictured it to be a little girl dressed in a pink frock with matching pick hair band and pink shoes. During my pregnancy, whenever anyone asked me if we wanted a baby boy or baby girl, I used to reply without hesitation that I wanted a girl. I encountered a wide spectrum of reactions to this ranging from astonishment to horror to pity to even total disbelief!
God was kind to me; he blessed me with a gorgeous baby girl. When my baby was born, my first reaction was how beautiful she is. My hubby couldn’t contain his joy, he just couldn’t let go of her and the nurses had to nearly pull them apart, my parents and in-laws were ecstatic, it was their first grandchild after all.
However, some of the reactions I encountered from some people around disgusted me to the core. When my maid learnt that it’s a baby girl, she cried feeling sorry for my parents. Another well meaning neighbour was also very solemn when she visited me in the hospital and even tried to console me. I knew it was futile trying to explain that this is what we wanted, so I didn’t even bother.
It makes me sick to think that in today’s educated society too there are people with such narrow minded mentality in spite of the fact that girls are making their mark in every field be it academics/politics/sports. Cases of female foeticide are not just incidents in remote villages of India where the vast majority are uneducated and bogged down by poverty, but is a harsh reality amongst the so called educated and urban population too.
I wonder what it is that makes people crave for a boy child. If they are living under the illusion that the son will take care of their parents in their old age, then that may not always be the case. I don’t mean to generalize and people with sons please don’t get offended, but it is the law of nature that girls are more emotional as compared to their male counterparts and so it is only natural that they will have a stronger bond with their parents as compared to boys. Therefore, the probability of a girl catering to her parents is much higher as compared to a boy.
One of my friend’s fathers also made a wonderful statement years back which I still remember and which makes me so proud. He said “If I had seven children, I would want them all to be girls”. Can there be a bigger compliment to the girl child?
So to all those girl haters out there, relax, take a pause, and think twice. You have just been blessed with a most precious gift. All she asks for is your love and attention. Give her that and she will be yours forever for life.
Today’s changemaker that we’d like to highlight is Project Why, a New Delhi based NGO that works with slum children as well as their families. While Project Why’s work began with educating children from slums, they soon realised that the mothers of these children were also often in very vulnerable situations and needed support to empower themselves and live dignified lives.
Project Why runs a temporary women’s shelter where women who need support can find shelter until they get back on their feet, and also runs vocational training programs for women. You can read more about their journey in this interview we did with their founder, Anouradha Bakshi.
You can donate to support Project Why’s work, or volunteer with them.
Guest Bloggers are those who want to share their ideas/experiences, but do not have a profile here. Write to us at [email protected] if you have a special situation (for e.g. want read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
If you want to get back to work after a break, here’s the ultimate guide to return to work programs in India from tech, finance or health sectors - for women just like you!
Last week, I was having a conversation with a friend related to personal financial planning and she shared how she had had fleeting thoughts about joining work but she was apprehensive to take the plunge. She was unaware of return to work programs available in India.
She had taken a 3-year long career break due to child care and the disconnect from the job arena that she spoke about is something several women in the same situation will relate to.
More often than not, women take a break from their careers to devote time to their kids because we still do not have a strong eco-system in place that can support new mothers, even though things are gradually changing on this front.
A married woman has to wear a sari, sindoor, mangalsutra, bangles, anklets, and so much more. What do these ornaments have to do with my love, respect, and commitment to my husband?
They: Are you married?
They: But You don’t look like it
Me: (in my Mind) Why should I?
Why is being married not enough for a woman, and she needs to look married too? I am tired of such comments in the nearly four years of being married.
I believe that anything that is forced is not right. I must have a choice. I am a living human, not a puppet. And I am not stopping anyone by not following any tradition. You are free to do whatever you like to do. But do not force others. It’s depressing.