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Let me ask you esp. the ‘plurals’ what do you do over the weekend? Do all you can, to relieve the stress of the week gone by and prepare oneself for the coming week. True? False?
Why do we reco,mmend the opposite to a single person? A well-meaning friend once said to me while I was discussing boring, alone weekends, “Take up a hobby, you love photography join a course. Take your camera and head out at 6:00am to take lovely shots. Don’t keep your mind idle”. Sounds fair, right?
When I asked him what does he do over the weekend, quick came the reply, “I chill dude, I am usually so tired from the week. Once in a while Soniya and me go for a movie in the afternoon etc. But mostly we just relax. Get some sleep.”
And once he had finished the sentence he realized how wrong his initial advice was.
He strongly believed there is THAT singles world where single people don’t look forward to a weekend. Where the single person does not need the restful peace, 2 days of the week.
All that one is confiding in you is that weekends spent alone sometimes get boring. Of course that happens to married people too. It is just about the ratio of the number of times.
Here are the possible replies:A simple “I know what you mean” would have done instead of the albeit friendly but thoughtless advice. All that your single friend needs to know is someone understands how it feels to be alone over the weekend. They too need to vegetate with a bowl of popcorn watching a comic movie but it would be nice to share that experience. Crack jokes about the movie. Share the popcorn and once in a while get a nice hug.
Offer a set of movies or books you have recently read and you think your single friend would enjoy. Give the person something to look forward to.
Why not invite the person over once in a while to chill together? Single people are fun. Their experiences are different from yours but their world isn’t. They will be so happy to be around loving friends. And you won’t mind if they join you for that movie or spa visit.
Better still go over for a weekend. I am certain your single friend will be very glad to be your host and pamper you. That would be their recreation and will go back to work with a good feeling.
If the person is looking for a companion try to help them find one. Weekends are a good time to date. Set them up on a lunch/coffee date. If nothing they will have a good time, make a new friend and thank you for it. Build some good karma come on!
Don’t be patronizing. Single people are happy people. They have weekends when they crave for company and you have days when you just need to be alone. Only difference is that being alone is an easier thing to do. One could just take off to the gym, dive into a book or tell the partner (if he/she is understanding) that they need space this weekend.
I love my weekends just like any ‘plural’. Don’t make me feel like I do not deserve one by asking me to do things that take so much effort out of me that I will go back to work feeling there wasn’t a weekend to this week.
pic courtesy: public-domain-image.com
The power of stories to inspire change made me turn into a storyteller. I write
Wonderful brought up….about the singles…………loved the differentiation given between both of them….!!!!!!!!!! Every word in it reflects both sides of the coin….. it isnt one side(supporting singles) but its about the lone feeling that everyone undergoes in these mechanical lives…. 🙂
I should say, single people also crave time by themselves. They don’t always want company. In fact if their lives involve always working with, being around or being there for people, they really want a holiday far away by themselves. Being single doesn’t always mean being alone, but being single and female usually means being at the disposal of everyone around you.
I love the way you dispel the notion of ‘THAT SINGLES WORLD’ that most plurals have! True that the only difference in the weekends of a single person and married/in-a-relationship person will be the ‘number of times’ they crave for company. Most married/in-a-relationship people are not blessed with understanding partners and can not have that ‘ME’ weekend no matter how much they need it!
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