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Women don't need protection - women's empowerment is about treating us as capable adults who can take care of ourselves.
A well-known director revealed in a chat show with me that her parents raised her to be her own person, and never thought to discriminate between her and her brothers. In fact, she said, her first drink was with her father who encouraged her to be open and responsible with her parents rather than turn her into a rebel. The parents obviously know a thing or two about raising children.
The woman has turned into a celebrity known for making sensible cinema. Her in-laws, she further revealed, still cannot tolerate their son drinking alcohol in their presence, never mind that both they and he are mature professionals. The woman is truly a Beyond Pink woman, independent, empowered and clear about her goals. In my view, she has got there because she never felt the need to ‘hide’ from her parents.
Women aren’t dainty pieces of china to be handled with extreme caution, or ticking bombs, to be kept at a wary distance. Of course they know that, but does everyone else around them? There is really no need to cocoon them from the ‘ills’ of the world. Their maturity in handling any situation that challenges their sensibilities is the same, if not higher, than of men. Allow them the use of the faculties, and see what a difference they make to their environment. Restrict them and enforce patriarchal values and watch them turn into perfect viragos.
Here one isn’t talking about tolerance. Tolerance implies kindness, indulgence, patronage. Tolerance is a negation of negativity, it is the twilight zone of neutrality. Tolerance at best creates wallflowers, women who are happy to be ignored and will, therefore, perpetuate the canard that a woman must be seen and not heard.
In fact, women must be encouraged from childhood to be open, and honest and courageous, to speak their minds, to act with boldness, to meet challenges head on. If in childhood, their personality is shaped to be honest, then that’s the face they’ll present to themselves and the rest of the world. Imagine the excitement and relief of having millions of honest people in this world, people who say exactly what they believe without the need for obfuscation.
So out with the ‘don’t laugh too much, don’t eat too much, don’t drink too much, don’t sleep around too much’ and in with the ‘be yourself, be sensible, be good, be happy’. The women such an attitude will create will build a world of creativity, of declaring that they can do anything, take up the toughest challenges, mould society to their demands. Wouldn’t we all like to live in such a world?
Pic credit: bljh (Used under a Creative Commons license)
Beyond Pink writes on women's stories in urban India. They could be real or fictional, but they are all about what women in modern India think about their partners, their families, their workplace and read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
It is shameful that in today's world too, women are abused and even killed for giving birth to a girl, and the infant's life is also of no value.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence, suicide, and violence against women, and may be triggering to survivors.
I am so glad that the esteemed courts are now giving the much-required verdicts regarding certain ideologies that were not at all entertained earlier. I mean we all have studied this much biology at our school level and it is our duty (our generation) to educate our elders about it.
Why someone have to lose a life to bring such awareness to the society. Delhi High Court gave this judgement concerning a case that filed by the deceased daughter’s parents against her in-laws. She committed suicide as she was harassed and tortured for dowry and giving birth to two daughters.
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