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One Indian mom's reflections on turning 35 soon.
Guest Blogger, Meeta Sabnis is a stay-at-home-mom nurturing her five year old twins, obsessive blogger, passionate writer, compulsive shopper, habitual gardener and neurotic about home and hygiene.
35 feels like a bit. An onset. A new beginning, maybe!
I am turning 35 this weekend and for some reason it seems to be a bit of a breakthrough. Thirty-five. Five years since Thirty; Five years from Forty. When I turned Thirty, I barely noticed. I was yawning in the troughs of nurturing my new-borns. A “milk production, constant diaper changing, ever baby cuddling, never resting and sleeping” device! I barely noticed what season it was, leave alone that I had turned thirty. It seems that ever since I have had kids, my aging, my evolution, my progression in some way has sort of come to a shrieking standstill. And that’s been tolerable actually. I have been gifted to pretend I am still 29, the age I was when kids were born. I have virtually allowed myself to believe that everything is just at a halt, waiting for me to be back into the spectacle when things are much clearer and the kids are a bit more self-reliant.
But here it is – I’ll soon turn 35. Age is banging hard on my door, whether I like it or not. Body mass has redeployed itself – stuff around the back have appeared to have slurped through my body and settled down on the front. I’ve got some grey hairs, sun burns have become more superficial, and I can’t concentrate up close while reading quite well as I used to.
The other factual symptom that my life is really not at halt waiting for my reappearance is the fact that my kiddos are growing up. Nothing validates the fleeting time more obviously than children growing in front of your very eyes. Almost six years have passed by since I have entered motherhood and also turned thirty, and my growing children have ensured I don’t live in denial about that realism.
Voila! As so many do, I am on my way to crank into the-big-thirty-five, reacting with a squeak when I am reminded about that. Obviously, I am not too happy about it and do feel sorry for myself. But, what the heck! This defeatism and self-pity crap is surely irritating, and you know I am not the lone who does it. Why can’t we just accept this unavoidable aging progression and the milestones that compliment it?
So to turn it up, and smack some wisdom into myself, I consider this might be a decent time to take stock. I think to cheer myself up and truly rejoice this mark of 35 years, I must list all that is worthy about this phase. So read along as I attempt really hard to get into the mood and comment on what a marvellous half full glass 35 in reality is.
– I can eventually just be comfortable with my own body. It is what it is! The genes have already worked their magic and the baby-making is over and done with. Well, I just can’t jump into that bikini straight away but I don’t need to give a damn to anyone while picking that maxi-dress at a store.
– By this time, I have to recognize something. I have to have adequate life experience that I can be confident about the way the world goes round. And if someone asks for my advice on anything that I can, it better hold some water.
– It wasn’t too long ago when I was in a different set of clouds; engagement, marriage and then the babies before my child-bearing age was over. And now, I’ve done it! I got that wrapped up. Now it’s time to work out the next steps devoid of that crazy burden over my head.
– Years ago, before kids were born; I despised to be on my own. It looked senseless and lonesome and too discreet. Now, I relish some time alone in my own company. To recollect myself from the past, reflect my own feelings, craft my own outlooks. Ok, I still don’t enjoy flying unaccompanied for too long, but mind you, whatever little time I get to myself, I savour and treasure.
– At 35, all radio stations are my melodiccompanions. I enjoy the latest Top 10s as much as some oldies that I hum since my childhood. These melodies make me feel that I am still unaffected and when I unknowingly start swaying to the tune of ‘Pehlaa Nasha…’ I know it’s not over yet!
– Grey hairs on me can be given up for lost as “highlights”. At least I’d like to believe so. And while we’re on the subject, I know of a lady who has ‘coloured’ her hair grey, so you know what I mean!
– I give a damn to “What Not to Wear…” recommendations! At 35, I still feel like I can buy those t-shirts with all those funny little messages printed on them and get off scot-free.
– Laugh lines just proves you’ve been happy and joyful. And those laugh lines just enhances your beauty when you smile.
– As I nurture and raise my adorable Twins, in any case I know that one day, I have departed from this world with something really worthy and precious. That undeniably negates any alleged bitching and nit-picking about my age.
– 35 is MERELY 35 and I look forward to more milestones and more achievements.
So, now that I have acknowledged I am at the refined, intelligent and gratified age, perhaps I can stand my ground and truly display how I have acquired a clue in future years. Every year onward, I am going to try very hard not to dwell (“try” being the keyword) on the “ageing” bit. Surely, enough already, it’s just frustrating. I want to live through it and keep taking stock and having a good time celebrating those achievements – big or small. And moreover, I need to get enthusiastic about what I still need to tackle, learn, rejoice and relish. My chipmunks are growing up and a little more independent – let’s deal with it, there is so much to accomplish!
And to conclude, in a casual conversation, a friend mentioned that the day we are born isn’t intended for regretting about our grey hairs and worn-out body parts! Remember, this day is special because someone heck had a hard time herself to make your entry into this beautiful world all worth for. Yes! It’s none other than your mother. What else could be a more earnest occasion than this day to offer her a kind gratitude for her indeed incredible deed?
Whoa! We have blessed this world with our gracious presence, done some really cool things, added value in whatever big or small way and people have respected and loved us for it. And for those who want to cheer us on, we have a duty to accept that love, blow some birthday candles and get on with the party. So, a very, very Happy Birthday to yours truly! Happy birthday to another stage of my life…. A bit more mellowed yet lot more mischievous!
Cheers to a new beginning!
*Photo credit: Javier Psilocybin (Used under the Creative Commons Attribution License.)
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