The Voices Of Men

Posted: January 23, 2013

Arundhati Venkatesh describes herself as a kid-lit enthusiast, an observer of life and people, a feminist, a minimalist and a compulsive maker of lists! An engineer by degree, and an IT professional in her previous life, she is now an aspiring writer. Arundhati works for an NGO.

The voices of women suffering abuse and oppression can be heard now. Finally.

What about the voices of men?

The voices of men call out to me. I have a father, a brother, a husband, a son, cousins, friends…

I hear them say, ‘We suffer too. Maybe not as much as you. But we do too.’

I know. I know they do.

Boys don’t cry.

Be a man.

Boys don’t talk.

Don’t be a sissy.

You have to be the breadwinner.

When you see a little boy sniffling, don’t tell him that boys don’t cry.

Don’t tell him to be a man. He is not. He’s a child.

Don’t let him hear anyone say ‘boys don’t talk’.

Give him a chance. Share. Be there.

When he says he wants to take up history, or research, or teach, don’t tell him he can’t.

Don’t tell him he has to be the breadwinner.

Don’t tell him what he should do, and what not to do.

When he gets emotional, don’t tell him he’s being a sissy.

Give him a shoulder to cry on, a hug, a listening ear, comforting words…

Don’t expect him to be a superhero. Let him be human.

Guest Blogger

Guest Bloggers are writers who occasionally share their interesting ideas and points of view with

Learn More

Comments >>

Comments

7 Comments

Sapna - January 23, 2013 at 11:16 am

Well said!

Reply
- Arundhati - January 24, 2013 at 2:24 pm
  
  thanks, Sapna. Needs to be said, doesn’t it?
- Sapna - January 24, 2013 at 4:32 pm
  
  Yup and this is the right time to say it 🙂
beyondpink - January 24, 2013 at 11:55 am

Do parents really tell their sons not to cry like girls? Unbelievable! Men have as much right to cry as women but society doesn’t allow them that luxury. At the end of the day, all this ‘macho-pana’ is dysfunctional.

Reply
- Arundhati - January 24, 2013 at 2:56 pm
  
  Oh yes!
  
  This is the root cause for abuse, I think.
  
  Something I’d written earlier – http://www.womensweb.in/articles/bringing-up-boys/
sahitha - February 10, 2013 at 1:41 pm

Absolutely! Boys should be taught to get in touch with their feelings and emotions too just like a normal human being.

Reply
Pingback: The barbification Of India | The Alternative