Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
The strength of Indian women often comes through when families are in dire trouble, but society rarely recognizes their role.
The other day a friend of mine confided that her husband had lost his high paying job. He is the sole bread-winner, they have two children still in school and in this economy finding another job is going to be tough. It is a crisis of monumental proportions. I’ve always treated this friend with some condescension, mainly because she is a homemaker whose preoccupation is with everything in the domestic sphere. How can we talk about the doings in the business world, or high art, or literary developments, if all she is doing is planning the next meal for a finicky son?
I go shopping with this friend, or to the club, or for a walk, and we talk about our children and of course, the misdeeds of her servants, all of who seem to be villains of monumental proportions. Therefore I didn’t know how to respond when she gave me details of how her husband had lost his job. Suddenly her work and her role in the family didn’t seem so trivial any more. Now, on top of looking after her children, she also has to take care of her husband, and be an anchor for him.
No matter how disturbed she might be, and no matter how much more energy she needs to apply to balancing her household budget, she has to appear as calm, as graceful and as affectionate as always. She has to ensure that her children aren’t affected by the storm that has overtaken their home, while keeping her husband emotionally secure. She has to support her parents and in-laws and protect them from the winds that are buffeting their world. All this she has to do to prevent her world from falling apart, as it so easily could.
Her situation is hardly uncommon. We have all known of women within our own or someone else’s family who have suddenly had to become the domestic equivalent of Rahul Dravid, the proverbial wall, providing support to a crumbling edifice. Men take both success and respect for granted. When either success at work or respect at home is suddenly withdrawn, they lose no time in wallowing in their weakness. The end of the road for them might as well be the end of the road for the rest of the house. It is left to the woman to keep the demons of domestic destruction at bay, and she is usually the lone soldier in this battle.
If only society recognized this unique strength of a woman! If only we could claim credit for saving so many households from anarchy. But no. We aren’t allowed even the reward of recognition. Recently I attended a friend’s son’s wedding. The groom’s alcoholic father stood around in dumb acquiescence, meekly observing all the rituals. It was obvious to the most distant stranger that it was the groom’s mother who was the pivot around which everything was centered. And yet at the end, the priest asked her to touch her husband’s feet in respect, just as the bride had to do for her husband. I, too, stood and watched this insult to gender equality and didn’t register a protest except in my mind.
Beyond Pink writes on women's stories in urban India. They could be real or fictional, but they are all about what women in modern India think about their partners, their families, their workplace and read more...
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
Please enter your email address