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When misfortune strikes, sometimes, asking 'why me' gets us no answer; reflections on a pregnancy that was not to be.
Guest Blogger Lavanya Sampath is a young working mum, an Indian living abroad, a budding entrepreneur and a singer. Music, arts and photography are her passion. In her own words, “I jot down my personal & professional experiences to reach out to women in similar situations.”
Lord Ganesha is known to be the Remover of obstacles. A few days ago was his birthday and tomorrow yours truly adds on another fold to her age. As I pray to him for peace and sanity, I look back and see what the year has been like for me.
Started with standing on top of the world – literally – my year took off on a great note. A wonderful sea change saw a sea of emotions as well getting acquainted to a new place and a new lifestyle. With it came a new flavor of life, more time with my little daughter and seeing her speak full sentences, new travels, incredibly new cuisines, new people to meet and a new schedule to work on.
There were trying times as some of my plans changed and materialized into other long-term goals, but the exploration carried on non-stop. But in all this, I did not see the mighty storm that was coming my way. A pleasant surprise of an addition to the family came on board and we were thrilled to bits. Our stars were thanked, the perfect timing for a sibling was cheered for and we were waiting with bated breath to confirm this news, so that we could share it with out near and dear ones.
But Alas, Ganesha felt he had an obstacle or two to give us or rather nature took an unpleasant turn and gave us little choice but to be parted with our yet-to-be-touched little one(s) – they were twins!
Deep inside, I am crying, asking myself ‘Why me’?
I am unable to get my confidence back. I do not want to talk to people, anyone who knows my situation and wants to sympathize with me. All the great new changes that came in my life now seem like big mountains for me to climb. I am unable to get a grip of who I am and where I am in my life. All the great things that I can accomplish are just looming at me, as I do not have the strength to complete them.
Why does God choose just a few people to play with? Why are we given something so special and then asked to part with it? Why is it so hard to let go of something, which came so close to you and then eluded away? Why? Why?
There is no end to my ‘Why’s!
I could have wallowed within myself as I have been doing last few days or I could share this experience with other women out there – either ways nobody other than our parents know about this. I did not write this article to get your sympathy for me. I am writing this because I know there are people in similar situations out there with a huge baggage – wailing inside, blaming themselves and losing their nerves.
I do not have answer on what you should or should not do, but I sure do want to say that it will get better. As that’s the hope I have right now.
I wonder how I will spend my birthday this year – it is going to be tough to celebrate, but what a year it has been…….
Pic credit: Crystal Artwork (Used under a Creative Commons License)
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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