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A poem on being feminist in a patriarchal world, which is hard and sometimes it feels hopeless; still, the fight for equality carries on!
You know what. I’m tired. Being a feminist is hard. Going against the tide is hard. And then its all an idealistic society in your head (that you want and you think you can achieve it), but then you see bullshit everywhere and it makes you so depressed and angry and frustrated. And you have to live with it. And sometimes it all seems so hopeless. But you know its not. And that is so conflicting. And you wonder – is this really worth it? The next second a crappy thing happens and you say to yourself – of course it is. Look at what is happening. And you become alienated from friends and lovers because they, in some way, demean you. Of which you are blindingly aware of now. Suddenly, a relationship is not just a relationship where “love” is enough. Where most views you held while growing up are challenged. Why, for example, can men go out almost naked and a woman not? Why, for example, do women undergo virginity tests and not men? Nobody questions these, nobody talks. This is how nature made men and women. These are their roles. Follow them, or be ashamed of yourself. It makes me sad and enraged. Why do I feel this way? Conservatives would blame feminism. I blame patriarchy. After all, why should I even have to fight for rights and respect? Nobody ever said it was easy to follow the call of our heart and mind. And it is our right, our duty – to become us, the best of us.
Brought up in a patriarchal society, but not a misogynist. read more...
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In the last few days I was having a conversation with my younger sister about relationships, and she said something which hit me hard.
I have seen a lot of people feel uncomfortable sharing their age, but I have no such hesitations. I am 32 years old and my younger cousins tell me that I belong to the ‘old generation’. If you are born in the year 1990, you are still considered among them, but if a year less – 1989, you are from the old school.
Being an elder sister, my cousins come to me seeking advice about studies, career and relationships, but when I try to help in the way I understand, the only reply I get is, “Didi, leave it, you’ll not understand it. Aapki generation aur hamari generation mein bahut fark hai. (There’s a lot of difference between your and my generation).”
In the last few days I was having a conversation with my younger sister about relationships, and she said something which hit me hard. Though she is from the new generation and I am from the so-called old generation, we share a lot of mutual thoughts and interests. We spoke about love, how the generation born after the year 2000 perceives love.
You ask any SATC fan. We all wanted a friendship like the one that the 4 girls shared. A friendship that was a rock. A friendship that seemed to withstand the tests of time and in general, life.
I confess that SATC (Sex and the City) has a special place in my heart. I must have watched the 6 seasons and every single episode at that, countless times. Seriously, there was nothing like sitting back with a glass of wine, a bar of dark chocolate and an episode of SATC, after a hard day at work. It renewed me. Made me laugh.
So much so, that I even ended up going for the special SATC bus tour when I visited New York in 2019.
Now some may call the show frivolous but for me, it was pure, honest entertainment. I was in love with the fashion, the ‘fabulousness’, the fun! And it had its moments as well. Moments that were truly thought-provoking, moments that made its viewers take a good, candid look at their own relationships, particularly their female friendships.