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5 years ago, a lot of things used to upset me. An “incorrectly” loaded dishwasher, a snide remark, a relative/friend forgetting to wish us on an important occasion, bad food, irritating company… Then I went through infertility treatment. Faced the possibility of never having another baby to hold. Got pregnant, felt the baby move and got overwhelmed because a dream I had been afraid to dream came true. Then I lost my job, suffered a few side effects of hormone therapy during IVF, faced a few health scares and lost my dad rather unexpectedly.
All these misfortunes put things in perspective for me. I had lost my job but I was lucky we were financially stable enough for me to stay at home for a while and care for my younger daughter who was often falling sick at the daycare. I had hypertension, but at least it had been diagnosed early and was under check. The only event I could not find a positive side for was (and still is) my father’s death. But his death has taught me so much! It taught me how fickle life is. I have my husband and my children today. I could lose one of them tomorrow, or they could lose me. Keeping that in mind, is a correctly loaded dishwasher really that big of a deal? I learned to let go of things, to differentiate what mattered from what didn’t.
Even now some things do bother me. An incorrectly loaded dishwasher still makes my fingers itch to set it straight, but I can control that urge now. A gift that receives no thanks from the receiver still makes me wonder about their manners. Rude and unruly kids still make me grind my teeth and display a fake smile. But these things no longer make me want to express my opinions loud and clear. I have learned to keep a lid on my thoughts and opinions when expressing them isn’t going to accomplish anything except increase my own angst. At the same time, funnily enough, I have learned to speak my mind clearly when it is needed. I don’t hesitate in saying what I believe but I also have learned to say it more kindly and tactfully.
So what things upset you? And, more importantly, how do you handle them? Here is what I have learned regarding how to handle things that are upsetting.
Cee Kay is a mother of two girls, a networking professional, a cooking enthusiast and
I hate it when you talk sense, Cee. It makes it harder for me to justify my own irrationality. 🙁
I really, really, really need to work on the giving it time thing. Thanks for the reminder.
LOL Sue! It makes ME mad when I can’t justify my own irrationality so I know where you are coming from 😛
Such a well written article, Cee Kay!I have much to learn from you. Very valid points.
Surely you are teasing me, Dipali? YOU have much to learn from me?? It is the opposite, actually. But thanks!
Loved the article Cee Kay . It has such unbeatable logic and when you think about it – its entirely doable 🙂
Thanks Mallika! This means a lot to me.
Very true Cee. Very true. Stepping back from a situation is the best darn thing there is!
Loved the article Cee. Very true about all the points you’ve made. Thanks for reminding.
Awesome article Cee… and very apt… I need to practice these points more than anybody else given the short temper and intolerance that I have towards small things like the ones you have mentioned….
vry true article as far as i am concerned. I am going through series of same events as you have mentioned in your post. life is becoming difficult to handle. I will not say that life is miserable with respect to other people in my life but my own personal life has been a havoc.
I get bothered and irritated with all minute things which some1 else might not bother. i become mad and start crying for no rhyme and reason.
I was just so very fine till 2009 and then suddenly life got out of control. My health went for a toss( i have had the least junk food in life and was always health consious) and somethngs just went wrong. All things i guess took a toll on me and gradually i am what i am today.
Batteling every single day and doing almost everythng to help me reach my peak that was taken away from me in 2009 so that i can see myself and be happy within.
I guess to retrospect my self and atleast try and follow the advice given by you.
And this is the 1st time ever i m writing on a public forum otherwise i m very much reluctant to write.
I love to write and sketch too.:-)
I am so very sorry that you are going through difficult times Taj. Hope things get better fast. Thanks for taking the time to comment on my post.
Loved the post….true sometimes perspective makes all the difference. But the problems surrounding us engulf us into such a whirlpool that it becomes tough to think logically. Hope ur tips help!
Thanks Shaivi. You are right – sometimes it gets very difficult to gain perspective. We can only try!
Great post and it have me so much peace to know that I am not alone to feel this way….
Jessie, heh. No Way! You are not alone 🙂
Nicely written article..especially the part about seeing situation from the other person’s point of view.. Ido that most times..
Helps a lot!
Gratefulness is one lesson we all need to imbibe in us! Loved ur article ! Loved the way u connect the dishwasher with things in life! I too felt deep loss after losing my grandmother … Good work!!
Sorry for your loss, Preeti. Thanks for leaving a comment.
pick up the phone and talk to me.
Sure thing! Leave me your number and I will. Always willing to lend a listening ear.
Good write-up Cee Kay! Sure is helpful! Thanks!!
Good one, Cee!
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