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A young Muslim woman in Kerala has recently petitioned the Courts, asking for protection from fundamentalist elements who are forcing her to adopt purdah. One must applaud this young woman for her courage – this is a society where all kinds of people think they have the authority to dictate what women must or must not wear. While the HC has come to her rescue, there will be many who think that she is only asking for trouble.
To some, jeans are ‘Western’ and indecent; to others, headscarfs are a symbol of ‘difference’ and therefore not allowed. To still others, as in this case, headscarfs are a symbol of religion and must be worn. What is common to all these enforcers, regardless of the backgrounds they belong to, is a feeling that women must be controlled. Still others will justify these on the grounds of ‘respecting the wishes of elders’.
Why is is that we never hear of the ‘trouble’ with allowing young men to wear Western clothes? It is assumed that trousers and shirts are ‘normal’ for men, whether Indian or Western. Women, on the other hand, must uphold the symbols of their cultures or religion. All the furore one hears over women wearing the hijab or burkha – why is it that this is never an issue for men? Simply because most men, even from Arab countries, don’t feel obliged to wear traditional dress once they are out of their countries. I bet the fundamentalists in this case don’t pay much heed to what young Muslim men in Kerala are wearing – when it comes to women though, they want to have their say.
Underlying it is the fear that when women become ‘too independent’, they will start thinking for themselves. You can’t sell them like cattle – they may even marry someone of their choice from outside the community, GASP! Fundamentalists often couch this desire under other pretexts such as, ‘women are the honour of the community,’ but if women are that honoured, how about letting them choose for themselves how they’d like to dress, work, live?
The desire to control women’s clothing is part of the mentality that treats women as the property of a community, however couched this may be in the language of affection or dignity.
Founder & Chief Editor of Women's Web, Aparna believes in the power of ideas and conversations to create change. She has been writing since she was ten. In another life, she used to be read more...
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Yuvaraj Shele, a small-time worker from Kolhapur, Maharashtra, did battle many odds and arranged for his mother Ratna’s wedding a few weeks ago. The main point that he put forth was that he felt his mother was lonely and saw the need for her to live happily.
A myth that goes without saying is that only a woman can understand another woman better. What happens when a man does understand what a woman goes through? Especially when the woman is his mother, that too when she is a widow?
This scene does remind of a few movies/web series where the daughter/son do realize their mother’s emotions and towards the end, they approve of their new relationship.
Just because they are married a husband isn’t entitled to be violent to his wife. Just because a man is "in love" with a woman, it doesn't give him a right to be violent.
Trigger Warning: This speaks of graphic details of violence against women and may be triggering for survivors.
Anger is a basic human emotion, just like happiness or being sad. One chooses his/her way of expressing that emotion. It is safe until that action stays within oneself.
What happens when that feeling is forced upon another? The former becomes the perpetrator, and the latter turns out to be the victim.
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