Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
As parents, we teach and we unlearn. We learn new lessons from our children, knowingly and unknowingly. Here's a mother's beautiful account of her lessons.
As parents, we teach and we unlearn. We learn new lessons from our children, knowingly and unknowingly. Here’s a mother’s beautiful account of her lessons.
Motherhood brings many changes in a woman’s life; it’s both a physical and emotional roller coaster ride. My son made me look at life from a different angle, he questioned my behaviour, my opinions and my lifestyle. Every kid learns from his or her parents, but every parent also learns from the child. I do not know what good lessons my son has picked up from me, but he has definitely taught me some of life’s important lessons.
Kids do not have back logs. I bring my leftover work home and take home issues to work, so every day is a total mess because nothing is perfect! He wakes up smiling every single morning and every day is a fresh, new opportunity for him to learn something new. He enjoys whatever he is doing – arranging the lego blocks or dismantling his toys part by part, or even biting me. If he loses interest, he drops it then and there, and moves to something else, but I cannot force him to do something he doesn’t like.
His world consist of only two people – Amma and Dada. He is friendly with everyone, but doesn’t really bother about them. You may think, everyone would be polite with kids, but that’s not the case. In shopping malls, restaurants and temples, I meet people who are rude to my kid, and it upsets my entire day. However, he is never bothered by them. He starts crying only if his dad or I shout at him. I wish I can be like him, and not bother myself about too many people outside my family.
We tend to think, a mother’s love is unconditional. But I feel my son’s love for me is unconditional. I lose my temper and shout at him if he steps on food, opens the mosquito mesh, switches off my laptop and for many other silly things. Sometimes, I even take it out on him when I am irritated with someone else. When I shout at him, he cries, but comes back running to me. He hugs me and sobs, but he never gets angry at me. I am amazed at how much he trusts me. I don’t think anyone can love me the way my son does.
He never pretends like we adults do, and tries to please people around. Anger, pain, happiness or fear – he expresses his emotions. He is not ashamed of his weaknesses. He cries and laughs out loud, never really bothered about what others would think of him. My husband and I take the blame for other’s actions and try to behave as though everything is normal. But my son is not like us. He closes doors on the faces of children who try to steal his toys. If he doesn’t like someone, he has the courage to slap them on their face. I know, I cannot be so direct, but I want to be true to myself at least and tell myself, “If they are mean to you, it is not your mistake and it is okay to keep them out of your life.” He doesn’t pretend to be liking something he actually hates.
We take everything for granted, but kids do not. They want to know more about everything they see or touch. They question everything around. I do not remember the source, but I’ve read somewhere that we learn more in the first 3 years of our lives than in the next 30 years. As adults, we do not bother learning about small things around us – what matters is the latest technology, new tools and new Operating Systems. Weren’t we more amused learning about the planets, physics and geometry than now when we learn new software tools?
After my son was born, we started laughing out loud, and more often. We stopped arguments (ninety percent of the arguments my husband and I have are about people outside our marriage). We get very less time to think about the nonsense in our lives. Our lives revolve around the little wonder at home. Looking at my son play, sometimes I forget why I was angry with my husband ten minutes back. He gives us reasons to love life. Kids add lots of fun to our lives.
Unfortunately, it is the grownups who give more importance to factors such as religion and status. But, children love others for what they are. My son eats from the same plate as my domestic helper, and he plays with the watchmen and their children. Some members of my family do not like such behaviour, but I do not stop him. The world would be such a better place, if we could love people around us for their good hearts, and not their bank balance.
I know as my son grows, he might lose his innocence, curiosity and humour. He will learn to act smart, sophisticated and busy. Like many of us, he will stop living, and will be busy running another rat race. But, I am hopeful that when he becomes a father to another little wonder, he will learn to live.
And that is life: learning, unlearning and then learning again.
Image of a mother and child via Shutterstock
read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
Please enter your email address