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Aarushi Ahluwalia is an author, journalist and columnist. She has been covering women's issues and rights for various news organisations throughout her career of almost a decade, and now runs a women's media platform called The Pamphleteer where she shares personalized stories of womanhood and the socio-politics of feminism. Her first book of poetry 'Girls I Found In My Pen' published by Writersgram Publications can be found on Amazon and Flipkart, and she's currently in the process of editing her first novel (while drinking copious amounts of coffee).
As things stand right now, the freedom to make your own choices is bought with total and complete cutting of ties from the family unit, and that's not easy, it is not even possible for a lot of people.
"I don't know," she started to say, "I just never have been able to have an orgasm with someone before. It's not like I don't enjoy sex, I just feel like it's hotter for him if I... finish. Faking orgasms is just easier."
My stepson's school was organising a ladoo-making workshop for moms & he asked why fathers couldn't make ladoos too! When you teach your son feminism, you teach them to think for themselves!
This young woman had a hickey on her neck, and my mother and her friends were playfully ribbing her about how much sex she seemed to be having. I was appalled. We don't talk about sex in India! Or so I thought.
People with fetishes or fantasies can be ordinary people - doctors, lawyers, clerks, accountants, unemployed people who have families, pets, and the same socio-familial responsibilities as you and me. The fetishes are just one part of their stories.
Too little. Too much. Too boring. Too exciting. Too violent. Too tame. In all of the situations, sex was an issue, and sometimes that lack of it was a symptom of something else.
We are often told that our 'value' diminishes with each person we give ourselves to sexually, but I believe pleasurable, casual sex with full consent made me a better, more honest, and deeply caring person.
Feminism, to me, is one woman lending support to another woman in pain. It's women speaking the nuance of their existences without being saint or sinner.
Whenever a woman displays autonomy and agency in a way that makes men uncomfortable, whether through sexual freedom or calling them out on their abusive behaviour, men call us insane.
An answer for when people say from their place of privilege, "now there are so many laws for women; what you say happened in the past, but these things don't happen now!"
Just because I decided on an abortion by choice when contraception failed, it doesn't mean that I am not allowed to feel the grief of loss.
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