If you want to understand how to become better allies to people with disabilities, then join us at Embracing All Abilities: Including People with Disabilities at Work.
Motherhood Vs. Friendship - Can a mother ever take a backseat in a child's world? Yes, as one mother discovers.
Some years ago, my son Advaita helped me accept that at times, even a mother must take a backseat to a friend.
By Aparajita Bose
“Why did you leave me and go to her house?” My son sounded devastated as he came up the steps, his friend following him. “They called me for snacks. My mom was there too. So I went.” Advaita was not convinced. That his friend alone was invited and he was forgotten obviously hurt him.
He picked up his most recent acquisition, a plastic tool set, complete with hammers and spanners. Dangling it right before Ravi’s nose, he triumphantly declared, “My papa got it for ME from US. I’m never going to share this with you!” Not to be outdone, Ravi promptly took up his long-forgotten badminton racket from Advaita’s toy basket, retaliating, “This is MINE, not yours!” So the battle had begun…it was almost time for adult intervention.
Advaita and Ravi are next-door neighbours and soul-mates…well, almost. Their families stay in the same apartment. The kids’ screams and laughter on every holiday they share keep our building alive. Ravi’s mother rushed in, blissfully unaware of the latest in the series of hot-and-cold sessions between the two. Giving me a hurried account of their busy day ahead, Sona coaxed her son away for lunch. Her timing could not have been better.
My four-year old looked up at me, his eyes two small pools about to overflow. He has always refused to accept that he too has been equally disloyal to Ravi in the past, leaving him alone during their play sessions to attend birthday parties, armed with the knowledge that exciting ‘return gifts’ awaited him there.
The issue of why his bosom friend had left him alone on a holiday lay unresolved. And the danger of Saturday lunch slipping away from being the usual family event loomed large. The occasion demanded that I help my son through this heart-breaking episode. Taking up the challenge, I said, “Never mind, you two will be friends again when both of you can forgive and forget. Now, does my sweet angel know what surprise I have for him?” It was a cream roll I had fortunately stored in the fridge.
The “forgive-and-forget” was one of my many attempts to help my son get over such small episodes of betrayal from his friends though it didn’t help much – my little one sat stiff, his face dark with sadness and anger.
I hated to take the aid of the television, and instead, set about blending a pineapple juice, his favourite dessert. Lunch and yummy dessert over, Advaita’s spirits up again, and my husband’s cell-phone put on “mute”, the Saturday held the promise of a few precious, long-awaited hours with just the three of us playing chess and trying out origami shapes.
I am a working mother, staying away from home for twelve hours a day, five days a week. The fast pace of modern life and an endless list of household chores squeezed into the little spare time my hectic schedule allows me doesn’t ever give me enough time for bonding with my only child. All the more so when there are two soul-mates separated by just a few yards.
The next few hours disappeared in origami and puzzles and updates on the latest happenings at his school; enough to make my husband retire for a nap, smug with the feeling of having spent a good amount of quality time with his family.
The afternoon sun slowly crept up in the balconies as my son, a little sleepy by now, nestled in my lap, playfully tossing my hair. Recalling Sona’s plans for the day, with no danger of Ravi coming over to snatch away my time with Advaita, I thought, (somewhat guiltily) that such spats with his friends gave me more time with him. Wasting not a minute, I settled down afresh with an armful of story books. Ugly Duckling, Cinderella, Robinson Crusoe, Red Riding Hood took my son to faraway lands one after the other when suddenly the doorbell went ting-tong.
There was Ravi, standing at the door, with two bagfuls of potato chips, all apologies. “I’m sorry, Advaita. Won’t you play with me?” I wondered what had disrupted Sona’s plans for the day; Ravi wasn’t supposed to be around now. Too eager to get back with his best friend, my son throwing a quick “See you” at me, ran down the steps with Ravi, a chips packet dangling from his hand.
A crestfallen mother had to reluctantly accept the truth – I was only the hurriedly put on “band-aid”. Advaita’s “cut” had healed with the magic word “Sorry” from his buddy. As I leaned back in my armchair, peals of laughter from the two happy souls on the lawn came floating up to me. I smiled at my selfishness (How could I be pleased with their fighting?) and my foolishness (How could I even think of replacing Ravi?).
I took up my long-pending book, relieved that my son had finally learned to forgive and forget (though maybe for a day), but staying prepared to serve as a band-aid once again, just in case he felt the need for it anytime.
As long as mothers exist, there will never be a dearth of these special “band-aids” in this world!
Pic credit: Fabi_K (Used under a Creative Commons license)
Women's Web is a vibrant community for Indian women, an authentic space for us to be ourselves and talk about all things that matter to us. Follow us via the read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
What I loved was how there is so much in the movie of the SRK we have known, and also a totally new star. The gestures, the smile, the wit and the charisma are all too familiar, but you also witness a rawness, an edginess.
When a movie that got the entire nation in a twist – for the right and wrong reasons – hits the theatres, there is bound to be noise. From ‘I am going to watch it – first day first show’ to ‘Boycott the movie and make it a flop’, social media has been a furore of posts.
Let me get one thing straight here – I did not watch Pathaan to make a statement or to simply rebel as people would put it. I went to watch it for the sheer pleasure of witnessing my favourite superstar in all his glory being what he is best at being – his magnificent self. Because when it comes to screen presence, he burns it, melts it and then resurrects it as well like no other. Because when it comes to style and passion, he owns it like a boss. Because SRK is, in a way, my last connecting point to the girl that I once was. Though I have evolved into so many more things over the years, I don’t think I am ready to let go of that girl fully yet.
There is no elephant in the room really here because it’s a fact that Bollywood has a lot of cleaning up to do. Calling out on all the problematic aspects of the industry is important and in doing that, maintaining objectivity is also equally imperative. I went for Pathaan for entertainment and got more than I had hoped for. It is a clever, slick, witty, brilliantly packaged action movie that delivers what it promises to. Logic definitely goes flying out of the window at times and some scenes will make you go ‘kuch bhi’ , but the screenplay clearly reminds you that you knew all along what you were in for. The action sequences are lavish and someone like me who is not exactly a fan of this genre was also mind blown.
Recent footage of her coming out of an airport had comments preaching karma and its cruel ways, that Samantha "deserved her illness" because she filed for divorce.
Samantha Ruth Prabhu fell from being the public’s sweetheart to a villain overnight because she filed for divorce. The actress was struck with myositis post divorce, much to the joy of certain groups (read sexist) in our society.
A troll responded to Samantha’s tweet, “Women Rising!!” by adding to it “just to fall”. She replied, “Getting back up makes it all the more sweeter, my friend.”
Here’s another insensitive tweet by BuzZ Basket showing fake concern for her autoimmune disease. “Feeling sad for Samantha, she lost all her charm and glow. When everyone thought she came out of divorce strongly and her professional life was seeing heights, myositis hit her badly, making her weak again.” Samantha responded, “I pray you never have to go through months of treatment and medication like I did. And here’s some love from me to add to your glow.”
Please enter your email address