A story of love, loss and second chances by Nikita Singh, releasing this Valentine’s Day.
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In the final story for our ‘Lessons From Ma‘ writing theme, Paromita shares seven lessons that she picked up from her mother.
Paromita, in her own words: A dreamer by profession and a writer by choice. She uses words to express her love for life and she considers life her beloved.
The more, I have grown the more I see mothers as carriers of wisdom. It seems the moment they conceive a life in their wombs, wisdom silently sits on their bosoms. I have known unwise men and women – but never an unwise mother.
I was born to my mother in her twenties. And over the years she has left pebbles of wisdom for her children to pick up. Here are a few wise lessons, I too picked up from the bosom of my mother.
1. Dream: Those were dark days. Our hearts were gloomy. When there would be power cuts, maa, bhai and me would just lie on the bed and close our eyes. It was then that maa taught us to dream and hope. Maa taught us that when all is dark and gloomy, it is the best time to dream and walk, you will find a way. Yes! We did.
2. You can begin again: After the demise of our father, maa had to begin everything all over again. At 39 she began to learn everything just like a young girl. From paying the electricity bills, to car maintenance to learning the business from scratch, maa did it all. She taught us, we all have the power to begin life again, even with worn out tools. And, what a life she gave us!
3. Letting go: There were so many things in life we gave our hearts and soul to, which did not work out. Our young hearts would break into splinters. That was when maa taught us, “There is a time every woman should know, she has given and tried enough, it’s time to let go.”
4. Keep your women friends close: It was just a few months back, I was talking to maa about a best male buddy, whom I said we can be friends forever. Maa kindly replied, “It’s nice to have great buddies, man or woman but when you mess your life, it’s your girlfriends who will be the first one to arrive with brooms to clean it up. Keep your women friends close; you will never ever be lonely.”
5. Trust God: Maa taught us that God is on our side. Rather than pleading and begging, I was taught to talk to God. My greatest solace or strength has always been my faith in the unseen. I have felt safe enough to speak the truth and do the right thing, for I believe, God holds me close enough to let me hear his heartbeats.
6. Marry a man you can talk to: One of the best lessons maa taught us is, never ever to go for any man who is not a companion first. This is the base to every great relationship.
7. Share your treasures: Even when we had less, maa taught us that sharing is a prerequisite for being a human. I remember the afternoons maa put a bag of vegetables in my cycle from our kitchen garden to give it to people in the neighbourhood. Those rides in some long lost afternoons, visiting people, just sharing vegetables taught me the freedom from want. And, finally made me the human being I am.
These are some of the life changing lessons I learnt from maa. I am sure the more I grow, there will be other lessons too. I am waiting for those moments of wisdom to come, so that I can hold a dew drop and turn it into a pearl.
Congrats Paromita! You win a copy of Chicken Soup For The Indian Mother’s Soul and Bringing Up Vasu from Westland Books.
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