For The Sake Of My Marriage…!

It is so easy to grow apart in a marriage if both of us do not keep abreast of each other. It's important to grow together.

Today, two of my dear friends got married. I wish them lots of love and happy tidings. I know there will be ups and downs, laughter and tears, arguments and making up, but watching them I realise the joy when shared surely is doubled.

It seems like the other day when I got married, I was still in college, pursuing my graduation in Microbiology, a supposedly bright student. It would be wrong to say my parents wanted to see me settled soon because I was equally interested in ‘settling down’ and being so much ‘in love’. Ours was a traditional ‘Love marriage’ approved of by the parents and families.

Then we grew up!

Over the years we had our share of arguments and reconciliations. But we grew up. We realised we were not the people we imagined the other to be. Being up close shows us more faults than when we see someone from a distance. Being on our best behaviour and clothes for a few hours in a day versus, living in close proximity 24 x 7 has more chances of noticing annoying but realistic habits like nose digging, belching and flatulence.

And I haven’t even come to where one wants tea while the other wants coffee.

But… growing up together is important!

As we walk together it is important to keep up with one another else, we grow but probably at different levels and pace. Then we just grow apart. So holding hands is important… to keep abreast.

Often, I was told it’s the person I am that matters, being kind, generous, loving etc. But I have often noticed if both people in a marriage are not following the same guidelines, one may take advantage of the other, taking these qualities for granted and years later arguments increase as the feeling of being taken advantage is akin to being cheated.

For the sake of my marriage, I prioritized my spouse, my kids, and my family duties. For the sake of my marriage, today I have learned to prioritize myself.

So, though ‘Marriage’ is a wonderful institution and brings some of the greatest joys let’s be practical and remember- to stay together we need to work on it together.

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About the Author

Anamika Kundu

Educator, author, poet, marathoner, yoga practitioner

6 Posts | 1,515 Views

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