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When it’s OK to let the Sociopath within you come out to play

When it’s OK to let the Sociopath within you come out to play

I’ve always felt that I could be a sociopath-in-the-making. A mild one but one nonetheless.

So, I can’t go into details because one needs to be street-smart about confessionals on media platforms. You never know what/who you will need in the future, so public shaming by calling out names is not wise.

Suffice it to say that a few years back – I got dumped. I got dumped so, so, so HARD by someone/an entity that I never imagined would treat me so harshly. BTW…this is NOT A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP, guys.

The shock of that event still stays with me. It was so unexpected and so random and unwarranted that the aftermath of that toxicity is still deeply triggering and unnerves/hurts me deeply.

But I never yelled, cussed, screamed, or called the person(s) out.

Nope. I did none of that.

Instead – I bided my time and opted to wait.

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Because, over the past few years, I’ve gone from being quick-to-react to everything to a more Zen version of myself. I’ve forgiven and forgotten a lot of slights, and insults. I’m calmer and nicer and have developed infinite patience.

So, like I said…I chose to wait. Because deep inside I believed that I would get my justice in some form or the other. I knew that the law of averages would EVENTUALLY catch up and work in my favor.

Three years later – I am thrilled to announce – a few days back, it did.

Turns out, I now have something extraordinary that is of vital, pivotal, and critical use to the person(s) who dumped me so callously. They were fucking DESPERATE to get it from me. A few days later they are still stalking me on all communication and social media platforms.

And when I say desperate – I mean like really off-the-wall desperate.

Like, ‘My bladder will burst if I don’t pee right now’ kind of desperate.

Like, “I haven’t eaten all day and I will pass out any second now if I don’t get something inside me’ kind of desperate.

Like, ‘I forgot my phone at home and how on earth will I survive without checking for non-existent messages from zero friends in my life’ kind of desperate.

So…the messages started as a trickle early one morning. Then it turned into a veritable DELUGE with everyone and their grandmothers, nephews, and second-cousin twice-removed writing to me.

For a second I debated. I wondered if I should evoke the Zen Roopa and forgive the jerks as I have done with many others.

But then I was like…NAH, BITCHES. It’s time for the sociopath Roopa to come out and play.

And she’s playing, y’all. She’s playing hard. The initial few days I just ignored all of the messages. On the third day, I sent off a quick and crisp message saying that “I’m out trekking and I don’t have a phone signal.”

Btw, I still haven’t decided to finally forgive them and actually give them what they want. Maybe I will. Maybe I won’t.

But I have to admit – with their every successive desperate new message – a new part of my body zings and sings. And yes. I’m still playing and toying with them. I haven’t had this much fun in a long, long, long time.

Look…for the most part – I firmly believe that one needs to let go and move on. But a few other times – like now, making someone squirm and pay for what they did so they get their just desserts is your just dessert.

So…it’s OK. Let your inner sociopath come out and play once in a while, especially when the other person(s) absolutely deserve it.




About the Author

Roopa Swaminathan - The Messy Optimist

Hi...I'm Roopa. I'm also a messy optimist! I'm an academic-cum-artist. I'm a writer, filmmaker and professor of creative writing. Academically, I've a Double Masters and a Phd read more...

25 Posts | 53,346 Views

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