The Cathartic Effect of Reunions on a Woman

The song in all hearts: Koi Lauta de mere beete hue din.

Thanks to social media platforms we are currently in a world where all the ones whom we have faded memories of, whom we thought we would never meet or whose hands we left abruptly years back resurface in our lives.  The past connections beckon us back.

In this hustle bustle of life, navigating way across many roles, juggling life and career, ambitions and responsibilities, a woman often forgets the many parts of her that once existed and defined her. Somewhere amidst the race of life, we all go into an existentialistic crisis. Philosophizing about the world and my existence in it, the metaphysical deliberations start flashing the parts of me that unconsciously faded into oblivion. When, how and why it happened, there is really no account. As we hit the midlife crisis the longing and yearning for these long lost parts of us to resurface become stronger.

These parts that once were Me had actually never left me. Somehow they got shielded in the race of life. As we pause, the layers we created thin out to reveal the real me. We retrace our evolutionary trajectory to the initial phases. My past comes live with each step backward.

The childhood exuberance, the school frolic and the college romp phase over and we struggle our way up the Maslow’s need hierarchy. Years go by in this pursuit. Finally when we pause to reflect, we realise we have crossed the initial 2 tiers of basic needs, safety and security. Our social needs in terms of love, care belongingness and intimate relations also have reached some level even if not in that order. Now money does not motivate us as much as it used to and craving for positions and ladder climbing haste has slowed down. The frivolity of the materialistic world starts hitting a bit. With age, my anticipation of failing memory suffers a jolt as I start remembering lot of events from the past. It then that we go back the nostalgic lane to seek all those people, events and places associated with the carefree being you were at a time.

Reminiscing past and not recalling friends, long lost family members, neighbours and colleagues is just impossible. Amongst the most beautiful chapters of the past are those which had family and friends written on them.  There are maybe some other people who maybe during the initial phases of our lives may be exiting in the background yet they were there playing a trivial or significant part knowingly or unknowingly in my existence. As we trod this regressive phase, these edged out faces of the past start reappearing.  Layer by layer the faint impressions assume proportions and are back in our lives. This time we are not letting them go.  The next step obviously is to reunite with them. Then Magic happens. A lets meet once changes into when are we meeting next. Reason- The Aha! moments they offer are unparalleled.

Reunions are the best way to connect those dots of the past that craved to become lines that define a unique imagery for you. Mind you but it is not always easy to reunite with people from the past specially if the connections with them have been very faint or the associations have been long forgotten.

To re-meet people from past, rekindle the associations long forgotten or hazy may cause wavering moments ranging from intense determination to reconnect on one extremity of the   continuum to   contemplating – forget it not worth going back standpoints at the other extremity.

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Why this reluctance? Psychologically speaking lot to do with your inner voice bombarding you with questions and dilemmas

  • Does anyone remember me? Well people do remember you and their remembrance will lead you on a self-discovery path. The images they carry are parts of you probably you have also forgot. It is crucial to re walk those paths as they remind you who you were. A constant nagging question that our subconscious keeps pricking us – What have you become? This is not you? As a woman the magnitude of the expectations from the society and the multifarious roles assumed somewhere leaves a cramped up space for the self-expression.
  • As a woman my whole existence is based on my constant effort to make life for those around me easier. In such instances reunions put me in a spot as they call for making arrangement for family and kids, taking leave from work and likewise. My conscious starts   on a nagging note again- Are you not being selfish by thinking of taking time for yourself. What use is going back to people from the past? They are past. This family and life is your present. You are a care provider. Stop being too indulgent for your own self.
  • Self-doubts—I haven’t done much in life. All of them are so successful and here I am . A sudden pang of guilt as you remember the expectations people had of you. I am sure no one us can live up to the expectations people have of us. Simply because it’s what they expected. It’s not what I wanted. But somewhere we go on a guilt trip for not fulfilling their expectations and there goes my self-esteem for a toss.
  • You have stalked your past connects like friends , long lost cousins, classmates etc on Whatsapp, Facebook and all social media platforms to realise they look ravishing and entrancing.  You become too obsessed with the pounds of flesh on your body, the double chin, the thinning hairline and all the visible signs of ageing. Big discouragements on that front for you.
  • Do we have anything common? What would we talk on? What would be the gain?

These thoughts continually haunt. The discouragements are powerful and yet one must empowers them mostly to give it a try to go for a reunion.   Why? Because Reunions have lot of cathartic effects

  • You learn the most important lesson of life-Money, power, prestige are trivial when it comes to relationships
  • Materialistic success doesn’t come in way of friendship and relationships. Bonds of friendship transcend the gaps.
  • You learn about life and gain from each other’s journey and perspectives

Most importantly they give glimpses back into how you were at one point of time. Something each of one of us always desire.

Do make it appoint to attend reunions because your absence will be felt. Not going will deprive your cohort of lovely memories and shrink the groups. Those long lost parts of you are somewhere pieced again. You yearn to go back to your real self. And that’s when the journey starts. A nostalgic journey but this time going backwards if going ahead and the path is decided by You and You Alone.

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About the Author

Dr Pooja Birwatkar

I am a post doctorate in social sciences, specializing in education and a professor at Somaiya Vidyavihar University. My areas of expertise are Research , Life skills and Management of Education. I am a voracious reader read more...

16 Posts | 15,099 Views

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